Metaphorically Wrong

Does Christmas Change As You Get Older?

2011-12-21T08:55:00.002-08:00

When I was little.... I remember how hard it was to go to sleep on Christmas Eve. I would roll around in bed, count the hours until it would seem like a reasonable time to wake up my parents. I would run to my parents room, jump on their bed and scream IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!!

As I look back at it.... those days are long gone. Christmas is a dream for kids. But as you get older, the presents, the cultural norms of Christmas looses its intrigue.

The way I approach Christmas has been much different, as I got older. I rather sleep in, than wake up early for presents. But, the most telling sign is... I have become very reflective during Christmas. I much more concerned with spending time with friends and family. I even prefer the food over the presents. But more importantly, its about the birth of Christ.

I can't help, but reflect on the coming year. Christmas has turned to a day of rest and reflection, rather then the previous gift focused day.

I really cherish how I approach Christmas now, then before.

So, how has Christmas changed for you as you got older?

The Importance Of Training

2011-12-15T17:50:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm officially done with training. Its typical to automatically move into reflection mode. These past 8 weeks, have been completely humbling for me. I sat through many classes, studied the Bible like never before. I was stripped down to my core, ripped from everything and exposed in many ways. The reality was I need that, more than anything.

God has been ever so faithful.

Training usually is approached lightly, people feel they know all the required elements of most training. Yet, training still remains a pivotal point for any discipline. I would venture to guess, that most times we do have a good idea, of what the training will contain.

However, through any training there are "training nuggets" moments that make training worth it, enjoyable, it gets the blood going.

I would love to share 3 " training nuggets" that I have taken away from training.

1.Your walk with Christ keeps you on the field or takes you off. (Slap in the face "nugget" good stuff, so true)
2.Go to the field as a learner. (Humility " nugget" assume you know nothing)
3. Christ does the "changing" not the missionary. (The I'm not God "nugget" the most obvious of the 3, amazing how we forget)

I am grateful for the training I received.

The point of training is to find what you don't know already and to re- establish what you already know.

We all have a lot to learn.

In many ways, life is one big training. Through the different paths of life we take. We all find "training nuggets" that we learn from.

May we always be learners.

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

2011-12-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

As training comes to an end. I can't help, but reflect on what I have learned.

I've been able to met some really cool people. I've been able to really hone in on some personal
things, that I needed to work on. God has been ever so faithful, during this process. I'm excited to
see what God has for me. However, I'm also super scared and will be completely lost in a new culture
and language.

But the time is coming soon. It will become a reality....

There will be good times, bad times and ugly times. I know, there will be times when I will feel tired and hopeless.
I will be homesick, frustrated and missing my family and friends. But its the cost a missionary most take into account.

As anticipation becomes reality, no one is ever ready for that transition.

I do know this, I will have highs and lows. But God is bigger, smarter and wiser. His grace never runs out, He is our constant.

Through the good, the bad and the ugly. God will be there..... that much I know.

The Burden

2011-11-19T18:13:00.000-08:00

As a missionary, its important to take an interest in the people you will be dealing with. To be honest, its has taken time for me,to really understand this concept.

Not that I don't see the importance of what I'm doing. But as I get ready for the big move, I have really developed a burden for the Japanese people. Like Americans, the Japanese struggle with materialism, vanity, and the busyness of life. However, Japan does differ, compared to most developed countries.

Japan has a high suicide rate, depression is common, and the Japanese culture allows no room for error. Over time, I began reading and studying the nuances of the Japanese culture. To understand the plight, that the Japanese culture has produced on its own, one must enter into the Japanese world. I will be doing that soon.

That's what makes missions tricky, once you begin to feel for the people. You develop a connection, a heart for the people. In time, the harsh realities of the culture will be evident daily. But half the battle is simply acknowledging, that its imperative to develop a heart for the people. Which helps the overall goal.

To glorify God.

I have grown a burden for the people of Japan. I want to help and tell them about Jesus. So, that they can see there is hope. Their sins have been forgiven, there is no shame.

In time, I will be unable to imagine my life without the Japanese people.

Its funny how that works......

Counting The Cost

2011-11-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

Its been, nearly a month since I left for training. In my time of training, I've had ample time to learn, reflect, and more importantly grow in my spiritual walk.

There's something refreshing about being surrounded by people who are like minded. I'm around people who are adventurous, who speak more than one language and are eager to learn more. They love Jesus... all in their own unique way. But the one similarity that has developed over time. Is the reality of counting the cost of missions.

The harsh reality is that some of us, may never come back. We may never see our families and friends ever again. The people that I have gotten to know will face certain danger. Danger is in abundance, from the vast lands of Asia to the instability of the Middle East and North Africa.

I'm humbled to see the amount of parents who are taking there kids to these places. Showing there faith in Christ, not knowing the future.

I feel very blessed to be surrounded by so many willing witnesses. I have broken bread with them, talked in depth about the Bible, and even played sports. However, our time together will end and we leave to spread God's Word.

We all know the cost each of us face. Some are more daunting then others, but the goal is still the same. I may be in the urban jungle of Tokyo, but I know there is a lot of Japanese people who need Jesus. I know my cost is low compared to others. To be frank, I struggle with that...but as one brother told me.

"God placed you where He needed you, I wouldn't be able to live in a urban setting."

I know my place and I have counted the cost.

For His Glory.

Entitlement vs. Privilege: The On Going Struggle

2011-10-31T13:11:00.000-07:00

San Antonio, Texas the place I call home, became a living nightmare for me. As I prepared to leave San Antonio, for the first time. I couldn't help, but count the days. I was so ready to leave. I felt trapped, unproductive, and entitled the latter being the reason for leaving so bitter. I left San Antonio, so angry, at so many people.

I felt that, I had been used and abused at the same time. That I had been left on the street, after being mugged. No one coming to my care, or asking if I needed help. I felt alone. I allowed this entitlement to drive my thought process and how I reacted to my bitterness.

As I left, I thought I was the better person. That I had it all figured out. Entitlement is a slippery slope to nowhere, it gives satan the angle he needs to create havoc in your life.

Peter disowned Jesus THREE times, however, Jesus respond out of love. Jesus, could of easily said " You fool, have you not seen what I have done?" Jesus had that chance to feel entitled. Because of how Jesus responded, Peter saw how privledged he was.... to be in His presence.

Now after time, to reflect.... I see how pompous I was.... I felt very entitled. I realized, when I return home I need to mend some broken friendships. That there is a constant battle going on between grace and pride.

Knowing that you come from a privileged setting, it humbles the person overall. Humility claims that we have no idea what we are doing. Entitlement claims we know and to move out of our way!

I have no idea what I'm doing, but I willing to learn. I know how blessed I am. I know, I'm in a position to serve God in Japan.

I'm truly humbled by that .....

Under construction, a work in progress aren't we all? How do you approach your everyday life?

Do you feel privileged or entitled?

Pray Persistently

2011-10-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

When anticipation becomes reality, we are never ready for the subtle truths that come our way.

For the past couple of days, I have struggled to understand what it means to be a prayer warrior. Prayer is something, that most people know how to start. But why is praying, so hard for us to do? It appears prayer becomes a convenient practice, when we are struggling. Yet, when all is well..... prayer seems like a distance memory.

Thus far, this has been my mindset. Prayer is important, vital to survive this battle we are fighting. As I inch, closer to the mission field. I'm beginning to realize, prayer MUST become a persistent and daily practice. I have been convicted of my lack of prayer.

Often times, its a "churchy term" we throw around. "I will pray for you brother/sister." But do we really mean it? Or is something we say in the "heat of the moment" that sounds right and originally "churchy"?

Those are the questions I ponder. I've been told by many people, that they will be praying for me. But do they mean it? But how can we make prayer more than, just a meal time ritual?

When I leave for Japan. Prayer will be key to my spiritual survival. Satan knows what I am doing and he does not like it. Prayer is important, it requires us to fight our spiritual battles on our knees, rather than on your own.

What does your prayer life look like?

More to come from my thoughts, while at training. New blog in the works, will be launched in 2012.

The Other Side

2011-07-03T21:29:00.001-07:00

Conflict, being challenged, and simply feeling you got the raw deal its inevitable in this life. All those things come our way, whether we like them are not. Yet, whenever our rage, sadness, disappoint, angry, disgust, and all other emotions come into play. Its hard to see the other side.

We get so fixated our own personally custom made view that only pleases our perspective of the situation. We become disillusioned by the truth and take no time to hear people out. We rely on assumptions and speculation. At times, we paint a false picture of the entire situation.

However, its not only important to hear people view's, but to dig deep together as to why? People ruin friendships based on what they think and fail to seek what's the truth.

We avoid conflict and being challenged for that very reason. That we maybe wrong and they are right. Its one the world's greatest motivations we have. To center everything to ourselves, when the reality is, other people are involved.

The underline point. When you encounter a problem with a friend, family, think first to seek how they feel. Then express your view, when the feeling is raw we tend to be so bias and critical of the other.

It's a tricky thing to do, but it's imperative. One day in the future you will dawn on it and it will bother you. Seek forgiveness, give forgiveness that's the heart of it all.

To see, feel, and experience the other side.

The Push

2011-06-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

God allows us, to go through certain things. So that, in the future we are equipped to help someone going through something similar.

Case and point. A young 20 year old man who was born with a bum leg. When he was little, he could not go to school, because his leg would not allow him to walk great distances. He never finished school, also, he found out he has a learning disability. Through all this he is trying to learn English. He feels alone, stupid, ill- equipped for his own ambitions.

I know, the struggle of feeling insufficient towards school. I also know the battle of having a learning disability. He has been a life long battle. So, I sat there hold back tears, praying for a friend. But, when I finished the prayer. I told him that he must have confidence in himself, but more importantly confidence in the plans that Jesus has for him.

The push was given. I too received a push from someone who helped me, when I felt just like this 20 year old. The push is to seek God fully to know that you know nothing, that you must fully surrender.

Our conversation ended. The push had been given he was smiling. We exchanged contact information. I could not help but cry and see that God had just shown himself to him.

That my struggle, inability was used as strength for someone else. He waved bye. I now realize your weakness is your strength.

Consistency: People Are Inconsistent

2011-06-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

As humans we can try to be consistent in everything we do. Yet, we will fail in this endeavor, we call consistency. We want it, most of us want to emulate it. But the reality is we are not built to be consistent. The only thing that really is consistent is how inconsistent we are....

Which brings me to this. I grew up in a very consistent environment. My family was a family that strive for consistency. My parents were always there for my brother, sister and I. We always had food on the table. There were no internal family struggles, that were tearing us apart. But, by no means were we perfect. Overall, I had an expectation of people, because of my environment. That people were going to be consistent.

It has taken me a long time to realize. People will fail you, hurt you, deceive you among other things. But the real problem is that most of us, hinge everything we have on people. In many ways, its a 50/50 chance of success or fail. Not good odds.

So, over time I have started to see my reliance on people. And why I have pursued it human interaction, friendships, relationships etc. Those things are good, but they can hinder us in our pursuit of relying on something much bigger and better.

Hebrew 13:8 clearly states the consistency of Christ. Which means his love, patience, wisdom, hope, goodness and all that He is remains the same. It never changes, Christ does not leave you, ignore you, deceive you, like people.

Our dependence should be on Christ and Christ alone. You might say, this is obvious! And I would respond with " of course" but why do we neglect this simple truth? Why do we so heavily rely on people to fix things for us?

Christ is the only constant we will ever encounter. People are a crutch to us, in allowing God to be our constant.

People can serve as a great outlet for us. It is imperative to have people around us to cry with, listen too, vent too, and fellowship together.

But don't let it become your crutch in approaching God for your ultimate source of consistency.

Roots: I'm a Panamexrican

2011-05-31T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hello, my fellow bloggers.

It has been quite some time.

When I was little I was embarrassed of my background. Background meaning, ethnicity.
My dad is from Mexico, my mom is from Panama. I grew up with Spanish being my first language. However, overtime my kindergarten teacher realized how poor my English was, so she suggested I get tested.

After several test, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. It was recommended to my parents, that they speak English to me. Once this happen, my connection to my roots, my culture, slowly, faded away. Language is the key to understanding your culture.

I understood Spanish, but I dare not speak it. Even with my family from Mexico or Panama I refused to speak it. I grew embarrassed of where I came from, where my parents were from.

They pronounced words differently in English. My dad would kiss my forehead in public before he dropped me off for school. I hated that. Kids would laugh.

I felt very alone, going to a predominantly, white school I had no one to relate to. Over time, I grew accustomed to my environment. I grew further away, from my culture, my family in Mexico and Panama. To be frank, I did not have the slightest interest in getting to know them. I hated traveling down to either country.

But once I hit the latter part of middle school. My interest sparked. I decided to take Spanish classes in high school. Perhaps, it was only a matter of time. That my interest in my culture, my family history would matter to me.

After years, of catching up on my Spanish. College came around and I took advance classes. I decided to minor in Spanish. Turned out to be one of the best decisions I made.

The underline point: I struggled with my identity. I had an identity crisis. In high school, I was surrounded by people who looked like me, talked like me, had parents from other countries. It was comforting.

Now I can say I am proud of who I am. Where my parents come from, that they both speak Spanish. That my cousins and grand parents live thousand of miles away. That is my reality. And in time I embraced it.

I finally, took pride in my culture, my family, and all the other elements surrounding it.

Which begs the question. Are you proud of your culture, family background? I know a lot of people who struggle with this. We come from the same piece of land we call earth, though we may not look alike. We do share a commonality. We all have a story of family, culture, language, and experiences etc.

Remember that! This world is a diverse world. It took me a long time to see that. But when I realized it, my eyes opened up to a whole new world.

I'm proud to say I'm a Panamexrican!

Milestones

2011-04-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Is it just me,or do milestones bring reflection?

Perhaps..... however, milestones do come. It brings a weird sensation to the body, the psyche... your thought process the idea of accomplishment.

Which brings me to this, why the feeling? Maybe, we feel we are done and are able to move to something new?

Milestones are humbling, they allow us to understand regardless of creed or belief that there's something out there, something bigger and better. For me that bigger, stronger thing would be Jesus. Though I believe the Lord made an imprint on this milestone....

Milestones are not reached without the encouragement, love, and audacity of people pushing you.

Milestones: Many more to come and more stories to tell of how the kindness of people make a difference.

Milestones equal an opportunity to see humanity in a whole different light.

Imagine that!

The Crossroad

2011-04-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time, since I can remember when so much was happening at once. Life presents unique opportunities as time goes on. However, like anything else there are bad and good seasons.

But, we still have the freedom to decide. To take a leap of faith and take the plunge.

Which leads me to this.... the crossroads. Many us have been through them, going through them, or waiting to go through them. Regardless, its inevitable.

We will be confronted with the forces of choice, anticipation, hurt, anger, separation victory, defeat, fear, love and many others. Its different for everybody and we learn along the way.

But we must take a road.
The decision is our own.

Perhaps, life is one big crossroad after another.

So, How Are You?

2011-03-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

Often times, I think we claim to be a lot busier then we really are. God forbid we exert more effort during our daily grind of life. We get so consumed with what we are doing that, we forget about the simple things of life. For example, conversations, asking how some is doing, helping someone out.

Yesterday, I was reading for a class. I was trying to catch up on some reading. For the last couple of days I have been getting no sleep. So, I figure I read at school so I could go to sleep when I got home. However, while I was reading I was interrupted by a former classmate from South Korea. He sat down and proceed to talk in his broken english. He said hi.... he paused waiting for me to reply. In my mind I rolled my eyes and asked ... So,how are you?

He then basically talked to me for about a hour. I had lost my place in the book. I did not remember what I read,or what notes I jotted down. But Sung Sue was happy I listen to him, even though he had no idea I was sleepy and grumpy.

But the reality is I had time. I could have easily said " Hey man, I'm reading nice seeing you." Sure, there are times for that, those times are appropriate. But I was just reading, I was in no rush. The truth I just did not want to be bothered.

Sung Sue, left. I started my reading all over. But it hit me, I would want someone in my position to do the same thing. I thought of all the times people asked how my day was... or listen to me.

The principle is simple ask someone how they are doing. And you have made more of an impact then you can imagine. In many ways, its a lost art, it shows you care. That you are willing to take up some of your time. Let's face, we have down time. We are not that busy, we just claim to be.

So, how are you?

The Cost Of Honesty

2011-03-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

I parked my car, grabbed my backpack and started to walk towards campus. Suddenly, I heard a loud noise, metal colliding against metal. A guy had swung his car door to hard and hit some one's car. The hit was minor, nothing to fuss about. However, the guy went to his dashboard pulled out a pen,notebook and started jotting down his information.

Honest, right? There are many scenarios that require honesty. The reality is a lot of times its easier not to be honest. No one was around the car that the guy scarped. He could have easily walked away. No one would have known. I bet the owner of the hit car would not even recognize the mark.

But this individual, took the liberty of making sure the owner had his contact information. Who knows what will come of it. But it cost something. Perhaps, nothing that will make the guy cringe, but he hit the car.

A lot of times we are put in a scenario where it is quite obvious that we need to be honest. Sometimes the cost is high or relatively low. Regardless, honesty is important. Honest does cost something: reputation, relationships, security, money etc.

Honesty is not about comfort or convenience. Its about, owning up to what you need to be honest about.

The question that lingers in my mind.

Will I be honest, even if it proves costly?

Scared and Excited

2011-03-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

It appears that its only habitual to be scared and excited at the same. When we are confronted with something completely new. The only analogy I can come up with is a new boyfriend or girlfriend. You excited about the potential and what it brings like love, companionship, and a friend. However, there's the scared part... that it might blow up in your face. The unexpected elements that it brings like heartbreak, opening yourself up to a stranger, and the conflict that it produces.

In short, I am eluding to the mission field as a mate. You pour your tears, effort and time into a particular people group, country and try to assess the needs. Each situation provides different obstacles and challenges. In many ways, our time and experience is determined on how we respond. Adversity and conflict is inevitable no matter what we do.

My underline point is that we want something so bad it becomes reality. We can't help but have a whole host of emotions like being scared and excited at the same time.

As I received my letter which holds the country in which I have been picked for. Those emotions came into place. I smiled and opened it and was not surprised by the choice.

A simple stroke of the pen will commit me, to this country. I'm afraid, I have doubts... However, I have excitement of the potential and challenge it presents. This place is not my first choice, but God is pulling in a direction I never saw coming.

My mind has been spinning since. A decision must be made.

By faith....

The Missionary Road

2011-02-28T11:16:00.000-08:00

I walked in all dressed up, which is rare. I took a seat took my jacket off and he asked " How are you, Jose?"

I smiled and said... "Good, thanks." I had just entered my interview for potentially, becoming a full time missionary with the International Mission Board. It was a long time coming in mind, for this very moment.

However, butterflies were erupting out of sheer excitement. Yet, once the interview started, I realized something was going to change fast. The interview was hard, revealing, and refreshing at the same time. He asked, every personal question known to mankind. He asked, questions my friends have never asked me.

He came in shooting. I came in unprepared. All in all, the interview was humbling my 4 days in Richmond, Virgina were humbling.

Bombarded with a plethora of opportunities in the mission field, that take you all over the globe.

I learned in my short time, that the mission can be unforgiven and treacherous. But it can bear fruit that will last a lifetime. I have been called down this missionary road.

For along time I have dreamed of traveling to spread the Gospel to others. Yet, the 4 days of orientation serve as a remind that the road will be hard and rewarding.

There will be days I will feel like throwing in the towel. Others, I feel on top of the world. I have the learned that this road is about deny yourself, all the time!

God has control, no matter the continent. He will reveal Himself to the lost. I am merely a messenger at best.

The missionary road will undoubtedly, be life changing....

Incremental Progress

2011-02-22T22:39:00.000-08:00

I was 18 years old .... I was in many ways at a crossroad in my life. At 18 is when I started to see things, in a different light. I was becoming more mature, took people's emotions into account.

Five years later... I can safely say, I have grown. However, there is still a lot to learn. Yet, the progress was incremental.

Many of us need to change want to change. Yet, we allow fear and laziness to lurk. We see progress when we put work into it.

A lot of times, it maybe incremental and that is okay! Usually, progress is not meant to be conquered in one day. For example, a basketball players... they practice multiple hours, days, and even years. The progress is incremental, but it comes full circle its quite the sight.

Keep going....

Maxed Out

2011-02-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

Is it possible, to have reached your fullest potential in one particular place? That it might be time to move on?

Often times, especially with college students I see discontent. They are not happy with what they are doing, they see no purpose. Perhaps, this the the common dilemma most college student encounter.

To be honest, I can relate I feel a purpose, yet I feel, that I'm ready to go. To leave what I know best, the comforts of familiarity and luxury. Is it weird to think, I can learn more elsewhere?

These are questions I ask and many others. Wanting a change of daily reality.

Rather, the question I ask ..... is have I maxed out? One season leads to the next.

My impatience has hit critical mass. However, the time will come.....

Just wishing it would happen sooner.

Just a thought.....

Just Pray

2011-02-02T10:59:00.000-08:00

The other night my dad received a call from his sister who lives in Monterrey, Mexico. From the look on his face, he looked concerned. After the conversation I asked what happened? He told me, that one of my aunt's clients in front of her laundry mat was robbed at gun point. It was a member of the drug cartels in Mexico.

Recently, the border of Mexico has seen a spurt of killings from the cartel. This problem is not old, however, the cartel have gotten more sophisticated over time. It's not just the poor people, who are easy to exploit who are being targeted, but people of middle class status, not to mention wealthy people. This new turn of events has caused a stir within the entire nation of Mexico. People are canceling vacation plans to visit family. The resorts are seeing fewer people coming to vacation on the beaches. The Mexican government thus far, as shown that they are not capable of preventing this unrest and fear the drug cartel have instilled in all of Mexico and the border towns of the U.S.

The other day in the San Antonio Express News there was a story about a missionary who was shot driving back from Mexico. The Cartel wanted the nice looking truck.But her husband started to speed up, but the cartel started shooting and a bullet went through the head of his wife. Senseless, right? A couple pouring their lives into a region that is in great need.

I can't help, but think about what if that was my aunt. My family, my blood and that's a cold reality to this. I stood there trying to formulate thoughts on what next? My aunt could have been that woman, my aunt witnessed the whole thing.

What can I do? I want to do something, but what? Later that night, I began to pray for the nation of Mexico.

So that's, what I will do.... pray. Pray for the cartel, the government, the people of Mexico. This comes to my main point. Who are you praying for? There are a lot of needs around the globe. The reality is we can't be there to help with all of them.

But God can, He is our hope. The light of this very dark world. This lesson may seem cliche, but when tragedy strikes, who else do we turn too?

Pray..... It's the beginning of something powerful and special.

God Willing

2011-01-23T13:51:00.000-08:00

I was once told... " You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans." God is not in the business of comfort. He never intended us, to have life free of strife.

So, when we as Christians say... God willing I will....? There are some power to those words. Many times, its habitual for us to say God willing. We can choose to follow that will or not.

But the gravity of saying God willing is a heavy one. A lot of times we say it, without flinching. God's will will be done, no matter what. However, its on us to decide how we respond. To the will of God and trust Him no matter the circumstances. Easier said then done.

Bottom line. God's will for our lives is something that can be very evident to us, or completely mysterious.

Regardless, God never fails and neither does His will.

I pray we accept God's will for our lives.

Immersion

2011-01-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Immersion- submergence: sinking until covered completely with water.

Immersion...... How many of us immerse ourselves in our job, family, or friends etc? Yet, we neglect to immerse ourselves in things, that are very unfamiliar to us. I believe immersion is a great outlet to really understand what we are trying to do. Immersion takes a level of commitment and passion in what you are immersing yourself into.

Covered completely... how many of us have taken ourselves out of our comfort zone? And really engaged in immersing ourselves into something unfamiliar to us.

I see people really immerse themselves in many things. But the question I always struggle with is, for what? What will it lead to once your covered completely? Do you just stop?

The bottom line: do we immerse ourselves for the sake of doing something, or do we have a purpose behind our immersion????

Just a thought.

Sometimes

2011-01-10T10:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes. life, situations, or events push us to the edge. It requires that we dig deep and do what is needed.

At times, life requires us to push hard.

Sometimes.....

We have times when we must handle adversity in a whole different way. Some may learn, others may drown in pity. But I believe through any struggle there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I like to read Matthew 4 and I'm always reminded that Jesus was tempted as well. He never fell into temptation, but he was tempted by Satan himself. That Jesus wept, he was betrayed by Judas and even Peter. He was doubted by Thomas after his resurrection.

I love Philippians 2, especially verse 5-8. These verses express the humility involved when Jesus came in human likeness. It's humbling to think the Savior of the universe had adversity come his way, for our sake. He endured the cross for us!

So sometimes, we must push hard. Life is not an easy thing. But their is light, Jesus sealed this truth with his death on the cross. Life is brutal and can take a toll on us. But we do have something to look forward too...

When that sometimes comes..... Think Jesus knows what you are going through and will even walk by your side through the storm.

Humbling....

The Cycle Of Life

2011-01-01T23:29:00.000-08:00

Recently, our family had a family friend lose her battle to cancer.

Death is inevitable.

Its the cycle of life.

With the new year just starting. I see a lot of people "committing" themselves to new year's resolutions. Every year people strive to use the new year as a marker for change. When in reality they can choose to change before that. That they do not need a new year to usher in new ideas on how they can better their lives.

I believe we all want to live a life that is full of purpose. But in order to have true purpose, change is imperative. Year after year people start new things for the new year. But never really follow through.

We all will die one day. You do not need to wait for the new year to change. Start now!

The cycle of life waits for no one.

Just a thought.

Learning From My Sister's Boyfriend

2010-12-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

I don't know if there is any irony to all this. Perhaps, I have chose not to come to terms with the irony....

However, I have learned a lot from my sister's boyfriend..

My sister got her wisdom teeth pulled out the other day. She came home in pain, she was woozy, and was not coherent at all. (So glad, I was born with no wisdom teeth.. true story).

So my sister sat in pain and embarked on her journey of movies galore. But her boyfriend was there for every minute of this exciting adventure. So for countless hours he sat and watched movie after movie, not to mention countless TV shows (brutal). But I observed his every move. He was patient with her, made sure she got her medicine. The guy did everything! And more importantly out of love. The guy was there all day for at least three days.

The guys was flawless. His example of his love for my sister made me think. If he was not there, would I do what he did for my sister? Granted she is my sister.. would I sit there and take the boredom better know as watching marathons of women shows?

Honestly, I would not... I would be lying if I said yes. Which only shows my selfishness. But how many love ones in our life would we endure three days of TV just to make sure they are comfortable? Think about it, go deep with this thought.

How do you treat the people you say you love? My sister's boyfriend treated her like royalty.

I thank him for that. I admire how he showed her, he loved her by sitting on the couch for hours on in. I believe we all are put in situations that allow us, to gage how far and hard would we go for someone.

That my sister's boyfriend did nothing but sit there with her. But that meant the world to her. He did nothing flashy or elaborate. Many times people who need help, just want the simple, yet typical elements of helping someone.

Imagine that.....

Needless to say the main thought here is....

What would you do for a love one family, friend.....?

Blessed We Are

2010-12-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

Often times, Christmas leads us to a retrospective state of mind. Last week, I was confronted with this. We all need reminders and they seem to come in the most subtle of ways...

It came in the form 4 girls and 4 grandparents. As I sat down and they ripped open their presents. They all smiled and were content with what had been received.

In short, our bible study was able to provide four girls Christmas presents. The girls ranged from 4-15 and the whole thing was brilliant. The girls have at least one parent in prison and the other no where to be found. Yet the girls seemed to be content with what life has dealt them.

Especially, the older ones, they knew God had a plan.

That night I could not help, but tear up. That these girls have gone through a lot. That on Christmas day they will be "parentless". But it was a somber reminder that I am blessed and so are they. We all have our blessings and not one is better than the other. The girls grandparents have stepped up to insure the girls have a bright future. That in itself is a blessing.

The underline point we all are blessed. This Christmas I encourage you to count your blessings. And to go out of your way to be a blessing for others. That night I walked into those homes bringing presents to girls in tough situations. But they ended blessing me, more then they know.

Blessings surround us all.....

Mariela

2010-12-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

As Christmas nears, I found myself once again reflecting. This year, feels different then most. But my thoughts led me, to people who work tirelessly for others. But never receive enough credit.

This leads me, to Mariela. She is from Panama. She is in many ways my grandma's saving grace. She cooks, drives, and maintains the house for my grandma. My grandma lives in a very rural city outside of Panama City. Mariela lives with her and makes her live easier. My Grandma has had multiple surgeries on her legs and hips. Which makes walking a laboring task.

On top of helping my grandma. She teaches at a center in one of the roughest neighborhoods in Panama, for free. On the side she makes pastries for some extra money. She is always working, never a day off and she always has a smile on her face. She loves to serve others. Every time, I visit I am overwhelmed by her selflessness. She never thinks about herself.

When we go on our annual mission trip to Panama. She is always cooks for us. She makes the calls to our contacts, she does a lot of the foot work.

What Mariela does has impacted me. In many ways, humbled me too. She has helped my only living grandparent. The only grandparent I have gotten to know personally. As she gets older I know her time is running out. So, knowing she is helping my Grandma is very reassuring. I consider Mariela family, my mom does as well. Our famliy knows the importance of what she is doing. She just does it. Never asks, complains.... that is powerful!

Which leads me to this. Is there a Mariela in your life? Someone who is always doing the small, yet very powerful things of life. Is there someone who never gets credit for what they do?

Mariela this if for you. May God Bless you for your honest example.

Judgement From A Distance

2010-12-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

This morning I entered my Spanish class. I was sitting there waiting for class to start.

In class I sit in the back surrounded by girls, there's only five guys in the class. Three of those fives girls sit behind me. So they started to talking about parties and boys etc... These girls are from Mexico, they are part of the rich class of Mexico. Their families have a lot of dough. Has I heard them talk about designer clothes, what they wanted for Christmas, or what they should wear to the party tonight.

Quietly, I became angry at them. I've gotten to know these girls, but I could not help but be disgusted. I thought to myself, how selfish. I distanced myself from the conversation.

After class, I started to think, why was I so angry? I dove deeper, I thought I knew how they thought. They were not hard to figure out. But the reality was my heart and mind were in the wrong spot.

Recently, I have been overly critical of people, who I hardly know. We usually judge people we hardly know harshly and swiftly.

Why?

What stranger are you judging?

Through The Eyes Of A Father

2010-11-25T22:47:00.000-08:00

About a week ago I met a father of ten children. He was tired, afraid, and searching. But in the midst of this chaos.... He said God knows what he is doing.

Back story, this father is a refugee from Somalia. His sister was shot to death for handing out Bibles. This father lived in a country where being a Christian is not safe,but in many ways a death wish. He was also a pastor of an underground church in Somalia. But once his sister was shot, his and his family lives were in jeopardy.

They moved to Kenya to escape the danger. But were soon sent to San Antonio, Texas. They now live in a apartment only equipped for maybe five, but ten live there. As I sat with my mission pastor, he was explaining his next obstacle. He had just landed a job, serving as a translator. He was also receiving funds from nearby churches.

But he sat down he explained his situation and how he felt that more could be done. He looked tired, beat, but he was able to muster a smile. Since, he's been in San Antonio other Somali's have arrived, because of the unrest in Somalia.

He has used this as an opportunity to present the Gospel to the Muslims of Somalia in San Antonio. With his efforts, he has been excluded and fears some might do more. With all these around him, he still remained at peace to let Jesus work.

We left the cramped apartment. I was taken back, in many ways I heard a story of a man who knows his God delivers. Yet, many of us who are much more fortune, always find room to not let God take control. We feel uneasy about not knowing.

That one day I met this father I saw God work through a extraordinary human being, a father. His example spoke to me.

I wrestled with this notion that night. Why do I fear not knowing? Many of us love to have a game plan for our life or future. But the reality is with God he wants full control. Many times the people in dire needs seek this reckless abandon attitude. This attitude that God has a plan.

God knows the desires of my heart. Although, I try to get in the way. I must realize He alone is good.

Through the eyes of a father......

Do not fear the unknown, for God knows what is in store.

The Art Of Tough Love

2010-11-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Tough love is an art, that I believe we all try to master. Some of us, are good and others, well have good intentions, but bad execution. Needless, to say we all require, that someone give us tough love.

However, tough love is an art. There is a time a place for it. Tough love can take on, several different shapes. For example, tough love maybe letting some hitting the bottom. Or getting very serious and intervening for some, standing the gap. Tough love is different for each person, based on their experience. Regardless, its what allows a friendship to become much more richer. To me, tough love is the difference between a shallow friendship, to one that is built on being completely real.

At times, its hard to hear. Many times its talked about, but never put into action. That is the key, to take the initiative and display tough love.

Are you taking action?
Or are you sitting around, not wanting to dig any deeper? No doubt, it can be a messy proposition, but if done properly, it could change your life.

The Angry Kid Inside Us

2010-11-08T10:18:00.000-08:00

During the summer I was a school age teacher at my church's daycare. The kids varied from kinder - 5th grade. For the most part the kids were a enjoy to be around. However, some were particularly hard to manage.

For example, I had a kid in my class who had a huge temper. Anything could set him off, into his rage. Well, it happened and he was going off on other kids. So I had to grab him and call for help. I took him to another room, gave him one of those soft balls that can't hurt no one. He started to throw it, against the wall. Then he started to grab the books and threw them around.

As he kept throwing stuff, he yelled out why am I so, mad? He broke down and started to cry. I sat there, not knowing what to do. But this kid was not a bad kid. He was a great kid, one of my favorites. He knew all the answers, he was a really sharp kid.

He went to the corner he was ashamed of what he had done.

It got me thinking, don't we have angry kid moments? When we get mad and lash out at people we love. What about, getting angry at God and taking it out on him?

Are we any different than the kids who act up and lose their temper? We have our moments, right?

I couldn't help, but see the angry kid as a angry person wailing on someone. I think, at times we find someone, something to blame. But we reach a point of brokenness, a realization of what we are doing, cannot continue.

So..... are you angry kid right now? Are you blaming, wailing on others for things they have nothing to do with?

We have our moments..... what's the response?

Heaven

2010-10-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

The other night in our bible study, we engaged in a conversation about heaven. The final stop, or hopeful stop for many. As we dove into this thing called heaven, we came out of the conversation with more questions than answers.

One thing I have realized the word heaven is used a lot. Perhaps, used too much, because people don't realize the weight of that word. For example, when Christians are explaining heaven to people .... what do you say? Golden streets? Praising God 24/7?

Heaven, heaven, heaven.... people say

The concept is very hard to wrap our minds around. Yet, we feebly attempt to try and understand the complexity of heaven. People claim that, they want to be there. But do they really? Think about it. Heaven is FOREVER!!! The right answer is to say, awesome can't wait.... But that to me, is the real question. Are you anticipating heaven? Our lives will eventually end.

What if, you knew your life was coming to the end. And that you would miss out on opportunities to experience life like... marriage, growing old, driving.... etc think about it. Would you be so excited about going to heaven?

People claim to be excited, but are you really excited? Heaven is about God and not us.

When our conversation came to an end. We came to the conclusion that heaven will be a lovely place. But to think that everyday, we are yearning for that moment would be lie. We have our lives to live. And believe it, or not we get caught up.

Needless to say, God is big and he delivers. Heaven will blow us away. Many try to understand heaven, but I rather wait and see.

Perhaps, getting use to the idea of heaven being forever is a process, a journey, that depends on the person. But one thing is certain when the world ends, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Times Change

2010-10-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

The other day I was running outside with my ipod. As I was nearing the end of my run. I noticed that their was a girl riding her bike. She looked like she was in middle school, but I couldn't help, but notice that she has an ipod too.

I finished my run I knelt down and I started to smile. When I was in middle school I never had an ipod, not to mention a facebook, or twitter. The girl riding the bike probably has a facebook. Now a days kids get cell phones in elementary school. Technology, has really been the thing, that has changed at a rapid pace. But times change.....

As time moves so, do people, sensibilities and life in general. From one decade to the next, things change.

So ipod or not. Times change, but the underline question that came to mind was how do we change with time? Is it the culture, our current situation in life. There are plenty of things, that change us, over time. For good or bad.

Times change, how will we respond?

Are You Intrigued By Jesus?

2010-10-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I spoke in front of a group of homeless people. I had maybe, twenty or so show up. But before I go on, I must expound on my thought process for what I prepared for the homeless.

Homeless people hear a lot about Jesus. I think, at times they get sick of Jesus. The mystery of Jesus is no longer intriguing. People try to shove Jesus down their throat. Most believe they need Jesus and they do. But I'm beginning to believe, that a lot of them do believe. However the intrigue is not there anymore. I come to find that, people in dire needs have a strong faith in God. They have nothing else to lean on...

So I thought long and hard. Which led me to the story of Zacchaeus.(Luke 19:1-10) Zacchaeus was a short man, a tax collector. Zacchaeus was very wealthy, but when Jesus was coming through Jericho. Zacchaeus wanted to see, but was too short. So he climbed a sycamore tree. Jesus saw this and "when Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

Zacchaeus was intrigued by Jesus. Jesus saw his intrigued by him climbing the sycamore tree. I used this story for the homeless, to ask them are you intrigued by Jesus? Most people know the story of Jesus and what he is about. But are they intrigued enough to climb the tree?

Some have climbed the tree and have come off. Others are for the first time experiencing this intrigue of Jesus, the mystery.....

I gave a simple story with a simple question. That is all I wanted to accomplish. Hopefully, those people self examined this question. Which leads me, to this post....

We should always be intrigued by Jesus. There are times when we are not, but why?

Jesus wants us, to always be on the tree. But we got to put effort into it.

Intrigued????

As Time Goes On

2010-09-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

Time waits for no one ....

As time goes on.....

I hear
I see
I feel

New and different things.

As time goes on....
I learn
I converse
I reflect

As time goes on.. I know how truly blessed I am. Blown away by how much I have.

As time goes on.. I'm more aware of Jesus and what He has done and yet to do.

As time goes on.. what will Jesus reveal to you?

Time.........

The Culture Of Your City

2010-09-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

Every city has it's own culture. In many ways, each city has it's own unique culture. From the restaurants to the special parades, and professional teams. People are very much part of the culture as well. There are a lot of elements that play into the culture of cities.

For every city I've been too. I always, try to get a sense of the culture. For example, in Los Angeles great weather, super expense, overwhelming traffic. Not to mention Kodak theater, Lakers, all the celebs that call LA home. All these elements make LA, LA. From the Venice beach to Rodeo Drive. LA is unique in its own way. LA is huge, a great city to visit. Lots of culture and a sought out vacation for many across the global. I could go on, but one blog could not explain all of LA.

For certain cities I have a better grasp of the culture, like my home San Antonio, Texas. San Antonio is a city that is often forgotten. A city that is spread out, has a rich Mexican culture. Also you get some European culture outside of SA in the hill country. The Spurs are part of culture as well, how can I forget the Alamo, the River Walk. SA is also the most visited city in Texas. Its a big city with a small town feel.

The point is all cities have a culture that they are know for.....

Los Angeles- Land of the celebs.
New York City- Capital of the world.
New Orleans- Mardi Gras.
Miami- South Beach.
San Antonio- The Alamo City.
Washington D.C.- White House.

Culture is all around us, we see it, feel it. Every city presents something different...

So what's the culture of your city?

The Wait

2010-09-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

We all are waiting for something, someone.

Maybe its a event of great importance... like a wedding, graduation, or even moving on to another place.

Maybe its a certain someone that you, deeply care about. Maybe a friend who is suffering through cancer. Parents fighting and there seems to be no end. Waiting for resolve, a solution, or time.

We all have to wait .... Waiting to me, is a great equalizer, a great teacher. A time to really see who we are..

We could be waiting on a joyous moment and can't wait. Or we could be waiting for moment of grief, sadness, and don't want the wait to end.

Waiting, Waiting.....

What are you waiting for?

When it happens, how will you respond?

Our response is all we can control....

Cherish The Moments

2010-09-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

All of us, have moments that we deeply cherish. Moments that we are thankful to have had.

From basking in the hugeness in the middle of Tokyo. To enjoying the breeze from the Pacific ocean, while watching ships pass through the Panama Canal.

Seeing a good friend say I do, to the love of his life.

Graduating from any level of school.

Spending time with the family.

Moments come and go, we must cherish each and every moment. We all have different experiences and moments. One thing I love to ask people, who I meet is, what moments define them, changed them?

You can learn a lot from people from that one question.

So what are the moments you cherish?

Humbled By Injury

2010-09-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

For those who know me well. I love to be active, play sports. But above all, I love to play basketball. I grew up playing soccer for 12 years. But once I picked up, a basketball, soccer was an afterthought.

Recently, I haven't been able to play basketball, due to injury. But when I play, I play very physical, very aggressive and I talk trash. I try to get into the opponents head. I've had plenty of confrontations and altercations, because of my feistiness. Needless, to say I play with passion. I exert a lot of energy physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I use to think I could play through anything. Since the injury I push myself to play, telling myself, that I could handle it. I was sadly mistaken, if anything I aggravated my injury. My physical therapist scolded me, and said no basketball for at least a month. The key word at least.

So since, the injury I've had ample time to reflect on many things. First, that many us, have this ego problem that propels us to over extend ourselves. Which in time, will lead to failure. For example, if a student who is a A student. Butthinks they don't need to study, because they are so smart. In result, they will eventually receive an B or lower.

So in my case, I pulled something and thought it was okay. It got worse and worse, but I remained stubborn and played. There comes a point in time that, we must be humbled to be able to sit down and see what we are really doing. It was only a matter of time. My attitude was I'm not going to get injured, because I've never been injured playing basketball. And it happened.

The thought that still lingers in my mind is....... Do we hurt ourselves, people, and things we love by doing too much?

Breaking Down The Wall

2010-08-31T11:05:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night, is when I get together and meet with guys, of the same age. But more importantly, guys that searching for more, yearning to draw closer to their Father. Engaging in authentic community, but as this new season approaches.

I know, walls most be broken and bridges most be built. It seems, pretty cliche, but its the heart of any bible study. Allowing ourselves, to be broken in front out our peers, who many times, become our brothers in Christ.

Tears will pour, exhaustion will set in, the race at times will seem pointless. But this, is why we meet. To push, ourselves to be better, to be about ways of our Father.

All this can happen, if walls are broken. It starts tonight.

Walls were meant to be broken. This season we will be wall breakers.

Time Management

2010-08-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

How many us, procrastinate?

A lot of us do, more than we realize.

This semester I am confronted with classes. That will require an expert time management. I will need to set aside time for all my school work. But not only school, but church, social outings and finding a happy medium for all of them.

But time management is something that takes a lot of work, it is a process. For too, long I have procrastinated on some many things. This semester is a great opportunity for me, to develop time management skills, ones that will last.

Many need to time management things in their lives. But its important not to let certain things to monopolize our time. A lot of times we allow things to monopolize our lives. In general, things that are not that important. At times, it can be good things that can turn into a detriment.

Overall, time management is important. We have one life and we have to maximize our time and not use it foolishly.

Time management, currently in session.

Consistency: Something We All Are Searching For

2010-08-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

It was a Tuesday night. When I threw the word consistency out to a group of guys. Consistency is what we are going to aim for.

I look around the room and saw sigh of relief. In every aspect of our lives we have some inconsistencies and consistencies. But over time, we as humans lose focus of what we set out to do.

For example, school it takes consistency to move up in school. But if you lose that consistency, you lose that production, focus. Second, we look for consistency in people, things. We can't find it, in them, they will fail us. The trick is to know everything at one point and time will, become inconsistent.

But that doesn't mean, that we don't try to be consistent in our own lives. I think people get caught up, in other people's inconsistency. We lost sight of what we are lacking in that department.

The point is to try and be consistent as much as you can. God remains the same always, no matter what.

At the end of the day, that's enough.

Being Content

2010-08-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

Contentment is what I'm seeking.

I was reminded yesterday, by Jeremiah 29:11 that God does have a plan to prosper you. He has a future for us, as well. Some may see it as a over used verse. I heard kids reciting the verse and it really humbled me, put me in my place. Even though I know all that, I still find room to complain. I find things "that could be better" but I have a lot to be thankful for ....

Not only that but, we always find time to tell God. That we rather be somewhere else, or being doing something else. Currently, I'm 23, graduating in the spring, have a lot going for me. Yet, at times I find myself unfilled, lack of something. Especially, at an age where friends move, get married you fill out of the loop. You feel you are behind everyone else.

But there is a rhyme and reason to being content. God has us, where he wants us. Being content with what he has given, goes along with trusting. Trust is really, what is lacking.

God never fails. Never!

Yet, we still flinch. Trust is the issue.

Once we can fully understand why...

We begin to trust and sometimes we may not know why

And that's ok.....

What do you need to trust God with?

Panama: On The Brink

2010-08-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

Panama a country on the brink .....

On the brink of moving forward as a whole. As I spent a week in Panama. This past week was different, then all the other times I've been before. For the first time I saw Panama as a country on the move. Tourism is up, the economy is as good as it can get, especially with currently economic times. But like anything else, the people seem to be moving forwards and not backwards. Panama is starting to garner more international attention, building new, bigger and taller infrastructure. Panama is on the brink ...

However, there is still a lot to be done. There are many issues face the country that still need improvement. But I have never seen the people, so hopeful.

Which got me thinking... many of us are on the brink of something? Good or bad? Some of us, are all the brink of many exciting things. While others, may be on the brink of losing it all. We lean one way, or the other. Seeing the potential in everything, while others may see lost potential. But like anything else, we cannot do it alone. Panama recent success still hinges on the Panamanians as a whole.

Some of us, may be on the brink. I pray and hope you praise God for those who are the good side of things. For those on the bad side of things, sustain, keep the faith, allow God to take over. Move yourself from the cliff, to avoid free fall.

That's what I learned in my week in Panama. That many people are on the brink.

The Indirect Effect

2010-07-26T02:29:00.000-07:00

Panama a country very, near and dear to my heart. My mom is from Panama, which obviously makes me, Panamanian. I've been to Panama on many occasions to visit family. But in the summer of 2008. I left for Panama once again, to visit and celebrate some birthday's. But this trip would be different from the others.

My mom and I would see a certain need that would call us back, to Panama. But for a different reason all together. We saw a possible mission trip opportunity in the future. So, on the plane trip back, we started to brainstorm. Long story, short one year later we came back with a mission team. This Tuesday, we will be going back with our second team.

I can't but help, but think back at the process. But this post is about the indirect effect our team, church has had on Panama. We are on the eve of our second trip. Last trip we had chairs that we worked on, we painted them, sand them down. This time we will be finishing them, these seats will allow little kids to sit down and hear the word. Not only that, but to be educated and further their knowledge. Indirect effect ......

Which leads me, to this. A lot of us, have a indirect effect on people. Whether we know it, or not. Often times, I find myself wanting to receive that recognition, but it's always the little things that matter. Like chairs, like having an idea to start a mission trip to Panama.

Run with it, we all have indirect effects on people. I pray we are humbled by that, and to know God knows.

And that's all that matters in the end. Be the subtle impact

The Finer Details

2010-07-21T18:02:00.000-07:00

Details .... Details ....

Just got back from Japan. Where details are important a way of life. Japanese pay attention to every little detail. They do everything with precision, so fast, so efficient.

It got me, thinking about details. We need details to accomplish many things. We need to gather information, or experiences from the details. So that we can have a better understanding. We have shortcomings in our lives, certain strongholds that we allow to build.

For instance, what in your life is something you struggle with? Most times, we pay less attention to details with the things, we struggle with. If we, were willing to search those details. Take it by the horn. We would be much better off.

Everyone has need for finer details to something, it can be small or big. But details are needed to learn more, release us, from bad habits. Details, are always needed for many things.

Like the Japanese lets focus on the details, in our lives. So they we, too can learn and move on.

Japan: Self - Reflection

2010-07-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

On my way to fully completely my second trip to Japan. Over the past week I have learned a lot by just observing.

First, Japanese people in nature are quiet. While in Japan, I had the great pleasure of trying to figure out the Tokyo metro/subway/ transportation system. Through all that I have realized how quiet the Japanese culture is. If you take a subway anywhere, in Tokyo its quiet, you can hear a pen drop. You can see their heads move side to side. Their eyes focused, their lips closed. No sound, just the subway. It was quite peaceful and a great way to fall asleep on the train. My week of being surrounded by silence, has reminded me, once again that silence, truly is golden. Silence is a lot more productive then, we realize.

Second, Japanese people are very helpful, they even go out of their way to help. Again, the subway system can be daunting, but on many occasion. I would have a local come up to me, and ask me, if I needed help. Some would walk me, to the station to make sure I got it right, others would walk me through it. Regardless, I was a stranger to them, who spoke very little Japanese, yet they help. They go out of their way to help. They would even, try to do it, in English. There is something to learn from this. Help strangers, and do it with a cheerful heart, something we can all take away from.

Lastly, Japan is a unique country. The culture is, like no other, the people quiet and graceful. The food is good and can lean towards the obscure, some good, some bad. But like any other place in the world, its the people who make it, what it is...

I did most of my reflecting on the subway, from place to place. Also on the 19th floor of the hostel I'm staying at, over looking the skyline of Tokyo.

Simple lessons, yet powerful reminders.... in the land of the rising sun.

At A Loss For Words

2010-07-15T05:47:00.000-07:00

As I stare at the skyline of Tokyo, Japan. I'm at a loss of words. Its overwhelming. Words are used to communicate, to express many emotions, desires. But how do we, respond when your at a loss for words?

Back to the skyline, I see all the lights of all the buildings. The night allows the skyline to be even more jaw dropping. In life we have moments, events that leave us, at a loss for words. I'll be the first to tell you, it's ok. That it is good, often times we don't have a lot of loss for words moments.

As I stare and marvel at the skyline of Tokyo. I could try to use words and explain what I'm seeing. But having no words does more justice to the skyline then, what words would do.

The skyline reminds me of the loss of words I have for the love Jesus gives. All that he is, it baffles the mind. I'm reminded of how blessed I am. Humbled, once again.

At a loss for words ....

And the funny thing is, it's ok ....

Impact Is A Two Way Street

2010-07-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks I was given an opportunity to speak in front of a group of college/ career age students. I spoke on planting seeds. I challenged the group to take time, to contact the people who had a major impact in their lives.

I followed through with the challenge I had given. I emailed the three individuals who had a major impacted my life. As I received the emails back from them. They expressed the impact I had on them and still do. It was really humbling to read that. It never occurred to me, that I made an impact in their lives.

Frankly, they poured into me, all the time. I never did anything, or so I thought. Both parties were impacted by each other. The giver and the receiver, both learn from each other. As I reread the emails, I couldn't help, but smile.

Now that I have been in position of the giver. I have been impacted by the receiver, on many occasions.

So thankful, for the blessings of impact.

I now see that, impact is a two way street.

Thank God For The Beatles

2010-06-29T22:53:00.001-07:00

I'm a huge fan of the Beatles, easily my favorite band of all time. Bob Dylan in a very close second. I was introduced to the Beatles when I was 13. I remember it, so well, I was in Monterrey, Mexico. My mom bought my Dad the 1 CD for his birthday. He was listening to it, in the car. From that point on, I was hooked.

I started to research the Beatles. I listened to all their music that I could find. I became a huge fan, admirer, of their work. As I continued my quest of knowledge of the Beatles. I saw a trend in their work. The Beatles started out, as the "mop tops" that girls would faint over. But as they got more popular and older they gradually moved from entertainers to artist. They started to smoke, got involved in the politics of the time.

The latter is what I was attracted too. I was curious about the "hippiness" of the Beatles. I want to know, why, when, and where. I started to question, just like the Beatles. I thought more, I sought after literature of all sorts. It led me, in a path, that would ultimately lead me to confusion.

However, after that phase. I realized, how grateful I was for the confusion. It led me, to a life that I live now. Its not the main cog, behind the turn around. But through, that phase. I questioned things, I went through many valleys.

This point in my life shaped me, for the future. I had to hit rock bottom. I was floating around and taking what I got. I was just there, stagnant. I didn't think for myself. I wanted to emulate the thinking patterns of the Beatles. I tried and failed miserably, but it led me to a greater purpose. I embarked on, a journey that, I thought I had taken. But I took the scenic route for a time. The questioning, is what got the wheels spinning. I challenged many things, thought for myself, sought after advice.

With love from many amazing Godly people. I knew God had a plan for me. But I really, believe without the questioning. I would have never, been able to be so broken, to realize my inadequacies in my life.

The Beatles were not the catalyst that brought me, back to Christ. But it got me, looking for answers. I know, I'm loved and my duty on earth. But in many ways, I'm stilling looking like the Beatles did... except I go to a different source.

What's your stage?

2010-06-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

Every Christian has an opportunity to present the Gospel.

We all have our own stage. Some of us, its at work, church, or a coffee shop. The stage is used to feature the main attraction Jesus! What is so exciting is, to think of all the different stages. The stage can be anywhere to present Jesus and His message.

So what is your stage? Where could, you present the Gospel? Stages can change, but the attraction does not. Jesus is the brightest of all stars. The best part is, he doesn't charge to be the star. It's free, if anything He rewards us.

Again, what's your stage. Where can you bring the best show on earth Jesus, too? We have our own daily opportunities to let His name be known.

So set that stage... Or if you have one, keep filling it up.

Capacity unlimited.

Wrong Turns

2010-06-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

Why is it, so hard to admit when we are wrong?

This morning I was driving, with a bad cough,4 hours of sleep. I entered the parking lot. I was in a rush to class, so I started to cut through the parking lot, to get better parking. As I started toward, my preferred parking. I hear this long and loud honk. I almost hit this girl in her car. I parked, she parked next to me, she got out of the car. Without me knowing she was waiting on me, staring me down. As if I was, her boyfriend and got caught cheating on her.

I rolled my window down, and she had a couple of choice words for me. I apologized. But as I was walking to my class. I started to think, why is it hard to accept when we are wrong? Is it pride? Do we hate being wrong?

I started to look back on all my wrong doings. Imagining if, I had admitted how wrong I was, or the situation, whatever. How much heart ache, it would have saved me, all the pain, tears and frustrations.

Is it just me, or doesn't life become a little easier when we admit our wrongs? Wouldn't we be able to avoid so many, unnecessary painful stuff?

My almost car wreck got me, think about this. I may not be able to re- write the past. But I can control my response to when I know I'm wrong and just fess up. Be completely honest about it, move on and learn from it.

And, oh yeah, be a more alert driver...

The World Cup: Where Things Collide

2010-06-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

The World Cup! Is upon us, I can't wait to sit down and watch the energy of the nation of South Africa. Especially the fans in the stadium.

Every four years the world, turns their heads to soccer. But what is even more interesting to watch are the cultures, languages, and countries that collide. For example the inauguration game between Mexico and South Africa. Two complete different countries playing for millions of people. One country is the host, while the other is an underdog entering the world cup

U.S. and England allies clash in their first games.

This is what makes the world cup unique, its brings the world together for one thing. The fans are passionate and the soccer players are playing for the country on the front of their jersey. There will be goals, flags, red cards, penalty shots, and my favorite fans with war paint on their face.

The world will watch for a month the greatest sporting event in the world. Many things will collide and it will be a memorable and beautiful collision.

All In The Family

2010-06-02T20:57:00.000-07:00

As the circle started to form, a circle of chairs. One by one each student talked about their experience, background with the language better know as spanish.

Everyone went around and expressed their desire to further their knowledge of spanish. With the majority of the class hispanic, we expressed how we wanted to carry on the language, when we start our own family. That taking the class was beyond just honing in on the language, but preserving the culture we came from.

It got me thinking, what are customs, traditions, that we want to carry on to our family? Or if you have a family, how has your family's background, effected the way your family runs.

So I started to think, what will I carry on to my family? Culture is very important, to everyone, we all come from different backgrounds. I know spanish is very important to me, that I would love that my kids know more than one language. There are plenty of other things, I can't think of them, right now.

But I know that in time, the culture my parents have exposed me to, has effected me. Culture is very powerful, very unique.

So back, to my class. I was looking around the room at all the different faces. We may look similar, speak the same language. But we all come different roads and want to keep it all in the family. So that, we can carry on a culture that is very special to us.

Words VS. Actions

2010-05-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

Words and actions are two very powerful forces that humans posses.

But which one is more effective, stronger? Are they on the same level?

There are plenty of polarizing figures who have been full of words and actions. There are a plethora of people ordinary and famous who have displayed these two forces at work, for good and bad.

You have people who have good rhetoric, they just have a way with words. But in the action department they are lacking, afraid to move. They love to move the lips, may have great tactics when debating a point. Also they may have pretty good writing skills.

Then you got people who are all about actions. Some may be very timid and soft spoken, but their actions speak louder. They love to be useful in anyway possible way. Usually, they will listen and not dominate the conversation.

Those are my perceptions on people who display actions and words. People tend to lean one way, or the other. The point I'm trying to get to is that I see a lot people, who excel in words, have great knowledge, yet are scared to be active. Then the other side you have people, who move, move, but never take time to gain knowledge, sit down and absorb things. My perceptions maybe wrong.

But as I think out loud. I see some of the most humble, yet eloquent people have a healthy medium between the two. These people were, are of great intelligence, know what to do, and have a huge heart.

Do the two forces go hand in hand?
Chime in, if you like.

Patience Pays Off

2010-05-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

Patience is hard, really hard. To wait for something, someone and never know when it may come. That's against human nature.

When I think of examples of patience of greater magnitude. I think of Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr and Paul. Their are other great examples, but those three stick out to me.

All three had to suffer great persecution spent a lot of time in jail. But these guys were mere men. They stood up, for they believed in and it came true. But they had to show patience. I'm sure they had their bad days. But they knew that patience pays off.

MLK never saw his dream come to fruition. But deep down inside, I think he knew his life would be taken for the dream he was patience for. Paul died, in the name of Jesus, but has inspired so many to leave the comforts of their home, to share the Gospel, even if that means death. Nelson Mandela is still alive and has seen change in South Africa, even though there's still a lot of work to be done.

Those examples of patience inspire me to be patient. All three displayed patience, but what makes it even more powerful was their selflessness. They had dreams they were waiting for, but with those dreams didn't just effect them, it effected the whole world. They were patient for others, and their dreams. Because of their patience, people are able to experience their dreams.

I'm sure they had their own individual dreams. But they had bigger dreams. As I examine my own patience. I have a lot of work, to do. I must be patient for the ending of my college career, when I will met the one, or when I move to the next chapter of my life. It will take patience, but I now realize. That all the desires I'm waiting for, God will provide. I'm starting to practice patience on something bigger than my own desires.

Patience pays off, it comes with a price. The investment is worth it.
History is on our side.

Accountability

2010-05-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

Accountability .....

We either run from it, or avoid it at all cost. It requires us, to shed our facade, to be broken and completely transparent with someone else. Accountability its necessary.

Accountability allows us, to see the power of God through people. It shows us, that people care deeply about us. They will listen, and love us regardless of the sin. That they are willing to stand in the gap for us, walk in the dark places we enter.

We can't do it alone. On Tuesday I will embark on a journey of accountability with 10 career and college age men. As I told these guys what we will be doing, some stood in horror, while others look ready to open up.

In many ways, accountability comes with maturity. A yearning to to get near to God. A realization of the constant battle between good and evil. Accountability is imperative.

For me personally, it has been a life saver. Without opening up, to people I wouldn't be where I am right now. I would be alive, but I would be surround with so much doubt and anger.

So, now to ask the question. Do you have accountability in your life?

If not, what are you waiting for?

Go and be broken, it will change your life.

Think You Got It Bad

2010-05-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

The other day I was wallowing in my own self pity. Formulating a me against the world mentality, or better yet asking, why me?

So I turned on the T.V. to distract my mind. As I was flipping through the channels I came across a documentary about South Africa. I started to watch and automatically became humbled about my suppose demise. I started realize, that often times people want attention when they feel bad, cheated. But sometimes, its a cry for help, a cry for attention. The documentary was over the alerting rate of rape in South Africa. Now that is real!

Its funny how, people who have the blessings of a fruitful life, find room to complain, and have pity parties. I know, that I'm guilty of this. I've seen my share of tragic things, kids with no home, Brazilians living in the slums dodging bullets, or the homeless guy downtown. Yet I find time and energy to complain and wallow over my problems.

I've felt very convicted by this to see and embrace my blessings. But to realize that hope can be produced from any situation. That I have a lot to be thankful for, there's a lot of people who have real problems. I'm blessed to not have, but those people who stand against the afflictions. Their inspirational.

I'm humbled once again, by stories and faces I may never meet.

Creativity

2010-05-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

Imagine if you, could be creative like Andy Warhol, Bob Dylan that you and creativity are synonymous.

I have wondered for some time how to be creative in a way, that matters. Creative not just for me, but for others.

Being a christian calls for major creativity in every aspect. Pastors must be creative, so that are able to keep the attention of the congregation, or get it. Youth pastors must find a way to preach the gospel to teenagers, from different backgrounds and ages, they must find a way to make it fun. Missionaries must find a way to, help people in dire need food, water, or health. It takes a lot of thinking and prayer.

But for every creative thought needed. The Holy Spirit provides a wave of creativity. Like anything else, creativity takes work! Its really mind of over matter. We must think of new creative ways to glorify God. New ways, to reach the far ends of the world.

So now, comes the challenge. How can we be creative? How can we muster another thoughts to, think of something worth wild, unique. We all want to be creative towards something, but for what?

Think long and hard, it will come. Just like a Bob Dylan song, the answer is blowing in the wind .....

Sometimes, I think He wants, us to work and think hard about it. When it comes, its all that more satisfying...

Put your thinking caps on.

Learning From Kids

2010-04-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

This summer I will be working with kids. Kids that are much younger than me. I look forward to this brave new world for me. I have worked with kids on occasion, but never on a daily basis. Part of me, sees my patience being tested. But I know that I'm going to learn a lot.

Kids have a way to show adults that life doesn't have to be so difficult. Kids are care free, they smile and love snacks. To be honest, their energy is contagious. I know this summer I will learn a lot from the kids. Sure I will show them a thing or two, but I know I will walk away with more.

Which comes to my point. Often times, we think we learn from complex, sophisticated things. But what about the simple things of life? Simplicity is a great teacher, if anything a reminder. The kids that I will be teaching, think in a simple way. That's not to discount their intelligence, but they see life in a different light. A light that, can be very humbling.

As I begin to pour into these kids. Without them knowing they will be pouring into me. I seen it, many times. Every time that I have worked with kids. I learned a lot. I know this I will learn even more.

The teacher being taught.

One Door Closes, Another Opens

2010-04-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

April 26, 2010 what would seem like a normal Monday. Will be a Monday of reflection, and seeing opportunity on the horizon. A Monday that will challenge people to practice, what they have learned. A Monday to see one door close, while another opens.

For the past 3 years I've gone downtown to feed the homeless. What started as, a simple, heart felt endeavor, became a weekly reminder too many of a huge need. A way to quench their thirst of wanting to serve, to meet the homeless where they call home. A bridge, with trash out numbering the people, the occasional stray dog. The random noises of downtown, the bail bonds that surround the bridge, and the diverse group of people who sleep down there.

That bridge became our mission field. What started out as feeding and encouraging on a weekly basis became, well, more than a weekly basis commitment. Investment was required and for many of us, it was a first.

I'm not mad, or disappointed about the ending of serving the homeless. The need is still there, but what started out as 5 people, is now 30 plus. 30 plus people who love to serve people in dire need. 30 people who now see homeless people as, fellow human beings. All of us, have allowed Jesus to stir something within us. It's different for all of us, but the motivation is what remains the constant.

I'm excited for what is in store for all of us. I know what has been learned, will truly be the blessing of someone else. Personally,I've learned a lot, lessons I will keep forever. The three things, I've learned in my 3 year stint.

1.Passion and obedience are hand in hand.

2.Investing in people, requires humility.

3.Good can come from anybody, even a homeless drunk person.

As I type this, I can't help but smile. I see all that God has done and it was good. But he's not done yet, for the whole group. We will be serving in different ways now, but the fire is there and brighter than ever. We are just changing the venue. We will be reaching more people, with what we have learned. Smile.

One door closes, another opens.
God is good!

One Day At A Time

2010-04-12T09:14:00.000-07:00

One day at a time.

I tell myself ....

Worried about yesterday

I can't replace what is ...

I can only take it

One day at a time

I know I've missed a lot

But I know my days

Will reveal much too me.

One day I feel happy and

excited about the future.

Some days mad, angry and

dawn on how bleak I think

things are .....

One day, One day at a time

That's all I can see...

I must embrace today.

For I may not be tomorrow.

So I tell myself one day,

one day, as one ends

another comes ...

One day, One day

at a time ....

Unreal: The Good and Bad

2010-04-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

The bad

It's unreal the amount of people who go to sleep on an empty stomach.

Unreal: The suicide bomber who runs into a building and blast himself into oblivion.

Unreal: The single mom fighting to support two kids.

Unreal: All the kids who sleep outside, exposed to violence, death, and drugs things kids should not know about.

Unreal: The disdain people show to each other, because of .......

Unreal: The solider who served in Iraq comes back to his country with only two limbs.

Unreal: Of all the stories we hear of young women being raped.

Unreal Of all the kids who are bullied by others, so much so, they kill themselves.

Unreal: The amount of homeless people we pass up everyday

Unreal: All the kids in Africa that have AIDS.

Unreal: All the kids across the Mexican border who live in poverty are only miles away from the richest nation in the world.

There are a lot of unreal things that are bad, heart wrenching, and simply avoidable. In my life, I have seen unreal things. I have seen people pushed to the limit. I have seen people cry, starve, because no one cared. But for every unreal situation, there is unreal love, compassion, and understanding.

The good

The unreal love displayed on the cross, so that we may live a new life. So that, we may not drown and die in our sin. That our afflictions would not scar us forever. That we would be able to share this same love, compassion, and understanding.

Unreal: The love our parents show us.

Unreal: The thousands of unsung heroes who help those in dire need.

Unreal: The teachers who motivate kids to pass school so, they too can be educated for the future.

Unreal: The amount of people willing to donate clothes, food to the less fortunate.

Unreal: The people week in and week out serve their community in a way that is not headlined to the masses.

Unreal: The love that is shown to complete strangers.

Unreal: The patience and love shown to those who help kids/adults with special needs.

Unreal: All the organizations and ministries that help the poor, disabled, and their communities.

Unreal: The Love of Our Savior

Unreal, unreal ......

Our world is full of unreal acts. We all see the good and the bad. Its our jobs to respond, in a way that benefits both parties. We have the capability to do a lot unreal things that could be earth- shattering. Are you in? Lets be unreal and change the world.

Jesus was unreal, his love, mercy and grace is still unreal.
Let us, follow His example until the very end.

By Faith

2010-04-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

By Faith .... think about it..... what can be accomplished by faith.

Hebrews 11:6 - And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. It's hard to display faith on a daily basis, we allow so many different elements waver our faith. What is it, about faith that makes it hard? Faith is the cornerstone of our relationship with Christ. Faith is a prime example of being bold and humbling ourselves to be ok, with not having control or not knowing the outcome. That's faith.

Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is the definition of faith. Faith is about not seeing, what is coming around the corner. But knowing God will provide, that faith does have a price. Faith is essential to our growth in Christ. It allows us, to learn more about ourselves and what we must work on.

I like to see faith as a meter. It can be low or high. My faith has grown over the last few months. I've allowed God to take control. But I've been stripped of things I love. For the sole purpose of learning to earnestly seek Him always.

My prayer, is that you don't have to be completely stripped of everything to realize your lack of faith. Everyday, we put our faith into our cars, elevators, and other mundane daily things of life. It's funny how I can wake up, still be half asleep and trust my car will get me to point A to B. But I can't allow God to rescue me, from a stronghold in my life. Ironic?

Faith comes at a price, but the rewards of faith outweigh the price. I pray you can meditate on this chapter and see the sheer power of faith. Faith does not go in vain. God has a plan. We may not know it, but we must keep the faith.

By faith ..... what will you do for His kingdom?

The Simplicity Project

2010-03-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

Simplicity is a word that has been running through my head lately. I have really been convicted by the luxuries I'm able to experience. But simplicity, still comes to mind.

I'm beginning to realize that, simplicity lies in the the intent. Simplicity can easily become a fad, flavor of the week thing. Simplicity runs deeper then some fad, its about look within yourself to the very depths. Asking do I really need this? Have I become, what I buy? Sure people ask those questions, but why do they ask those questions?

What is the reason?

I see myself as a project of simplicity, as I grow more mature in walk with Christ. I start to let go of things like video games, eating out every day, going on a shoe shopping spree. Sure, those are materialistic things, but can't we even get more simplistic? Think about it, if your neighbor has a lawn mower use his, instead of buying one for yourself. Better yet, have two lawn mowers for the whole street. People sharing, and coming together as a community. In a perfect world, I know. But simplicity is very attainable.

Buy why is it, so hard?

Think about it, do we really need that coffee every day? Or indulging our taste buds with expensive food, when we have food at home. How much clothes is hanging in your closet that you don't use, or even know you have?

Simplicity is hard and takes time, growth.I'm not saying to rid yourself, of everything, but they are things we have, consume, that we don't need. Its about finding that healthy medium in the craziness of life. But above all its about the life Jesus led. Jesus was a man of simple taste. Emulating that simple taste is the tricky and finding time to indulge ourselves in a good way is even harder. What Christ stood for was not complex, but in the very essence simple, he has simplicity written all over him. Love your neighbor, don't lean on your own understanding, cloth the poor, feed the hungry, pick your brother up when he is down.The world makes the ways of Jesus seem complex.

We all are projects of simplicity. How far along are you?

My Mathematical Equation

2010-03-22T09:12:00.000-07:00

I have expressed this many times in my blog, that I really suck at math. That might be an understatement to my suckness in math. Math has been a demon in my life. Sure, math sounds so harmless to most. But it really has been my demon, but as I got older. I have allowed it to become a stronghold of negativity in my life.

When math is involved all my insecurities come out, my fear of failure and that I will not amount to anything. I have had this mathematical equation in my life for far too long. I've allowed it to feed off my failures, laziness, and lack of focus.

I have a learning disability in math. I learn differently than others. I don't grasp the information as fast. But I've allowed my learning disability become an excuse to not put my full effort forward. All these years, I have approach math with a horrible attitude. I may not like math, but I got to pass to move on.

Move on with my academic career, spiritual journey, and just life in general. I've allowed my fear of math to hit critical mass. I now must do something about it. There is no tomorrow, there is no next time. I need to figure out this mathematical equation, over the last few months I finally let God take over. God is the king of math, he knows any equation life throws at us, no matter how complex, or daunting.

My problem with math lies not in my learning disability, but my unwillingness to take the necessary steps to pass math. I've always tried to find the easy way out. But thanks to, friends who won't let fail and God who loves me regardless. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if I don't succeed in math this semester. I now know what is required to pass. This life long battle of math, is slowly, but surely coming to an end.

It took me 22 years to realize all this.
I'm a slow learner.

Hindsight: Don't Look Back

2010-03-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

Imagine, for every time we dwell in the past, we would turn to salt. I imagine, that there would be a lot of salt everywhere. Our past are full of great moments and bad moments. But it seems, that the bad moments seem to have a hold on our lives. Why is it, so hard to shake off the past?

Don't shake off the good memories. But at times, is seems we do. The bad memories are a common occurrence in the mind. We allow them to occupy our thought process. The word hindsight, comes to mind. Hindsight is always 20/20 we always understand after the fact. However, its out choice to learn and move on. If we still dwell, it doesn't give us a sense of closure or peace.

Think of it, like a paper. Every paper has a conclusion, a retrospect section, which is usually at the end. In the conclusion, the writer is allowed to give his/her opinion on the what they are writing about. After the conclusion is written, nothing more is said on the paper. In many ways, bad memories should be treated this way. There's a conclusion, and reflective part and then nothing is said. I'm not saying, to not reflect on the past in a good way to learn. But don't reflect in a negative way a way, in which damage is done.

The past is a tricky thing, there's nothing we can do, to undo the past. We can learn, realize the lesson and move on. We could be living in the past our whole lives, by dwelling of all the bad that had transpired in out past.

Hindsight is 20/20 always will be.
Don't let the past dictate your life.

The Simplicity And Power Of Soccer

2010-03-10T09:10:00.000-08:00

Its amazing how we, get caught up with the loud, elaborate things of life. I've come to find out that the simpler things of life are really more effective, then the loud things of life.

Soccer, for instance is simple. No matter the continent soccer is huge. All you need is a ball and yourself. Kicking is also required to make soccer happen. To some, soccer may seem stupid. But to nations its the sole reason,of bringing a nation to peace, reconciliation. Regardless, of the state of the country. People still play soccer, nations hopes and dreams lie in soccer. How can a ball have some much effect?

Soccer is the world's most popular sport. I've been to several countries and have seen, soccer bring a smile to people of poverty, war torn nations. They play with passion and get lost in the moment of soccer. As the World Cup approaches closer, it will be interesting to see how the 32 countries fans will respond. The whole world will be watching.

South Africa the host country will be on the world stage,for something positive. Soccer is a sport that does not hate, care about creed, or color. Soccer is for all, for those who are poor and have nothing, to those who have it all. Soccer is something that the world has in common. The passion the drive, to see a goal, to see that slide tackle, don't forget the OLE! OLE! OLE! chants.

Soccer is simple, yet very powerful. It gets kids off the streets, it brings people of different races to enjoy a common pastime. That's powerful! Soccer is simple. Soccer is a resource we can use for the betterment of the world. Soccer is an outlet for good.

I look forward to the World Cup as a fan and as a inhabitant of the world. That for a couple of weeks the world will be sharing something in common, something simple.

Not Enough

2010-03-08T11:16:00.000-08:00

Often times, I found myself doing too much, trying to do it all on my own. As a Christian we are wired,to only know and do so much. At times, this can be very frustrating, it can put, us on the edge. As humans, we want control of everything, we yearn to control everything. Yet, when we feel we have control. It really means, we have lost our way. We really have no sense of direction.

But when we hit the bottom. When are most weak and vulnerable. It is, only a reminder of why we are who we are, and why God is God. God is enough and we are not. Yet, regardless of belief we all are limited. We can't lift, mountains, feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread, we surely can't walk on water. But He did.

When I'm at my weakest means. I'm at my strongest, for He is enough. Once, we really begin to see and believe that whole- heatedly that He is enough. We will begin to realize, our full potential in Him.

Squatter Camp Reality

2010-02-26T06:26:00.000-08:00

The reality is that 1 billion people live in, on, near garbage, rusty tin mental, or have no home at all. The reality is that, not only do 1 billion people not have formal housing. But they don't have food, clean water, and group of people who love them.

For one night. I will be homeless. I will be sleeping underneath cardboard. I will purposely, not bring a sufficient amount of clothing or blankets to cover me up. I want to get only a mere glimpse of what it feels like. Billions live this way. Sure there are different levels, but the need is still out there. Regardless, whether its in a South Africa squatter camp, or in the slums of Brazil, to the hundreds of homeless people who sleep underneath a bridge all around the U.S.

That's reality, it is our job to step up, and try our darnest to change that. Every person, regardless of background,or belief has the right to basic human resources like water, housing, and food.

There are plenty without .....

What will you do about it?
Will we let reality stay the same?
Or will we step up and make a change?

Just look around you. There are plenty of places of need. But it all starts with the heart.

Heat Of The Moment

2010-02-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

A teenage girl catch up in her vanity and pressured to not eat. She wants to be thin, not fat. Overwhelmed by her own world inspired ambitions. She is unhappy, she will never be pretty. She thinks life is no longer worth living .... heat of the moment. Her parents find her all bloodied up, with a knife in her hand.

Teenage boy wants to fit in, to be accepted. Grabs the joint and smokes, coughs and hates the taste, smell. But continues on .... heat of the moment. That one puff and the peer pressure leads to an addiction of substances and acceptance of his peers.

Married man, loving husband and father. Has a ruff day at work. Decides to get a drink, to get away from it all. One drink leads to another and another. He's unable to walk straight, talks with a slur and has a heavy aroma of alcohol all around him. Gets in the car and loses control. He crashes right into a car ..... heat of the moment. The final verdict is manslaughter he's responsible for ending some one's life. Jail time and a lifetime away from his family.

Newlywed woman, married a good man. But he works all the time. He's never home to eat dinner with her. She meets a guy. She starts to flirt with him. One thing leads to another, she doesn't want to feel lonely anymore. She's enticed by the thrill. She succumbs to her carnal desires. She invites him, over one time ..... heat of the moment. Thinking her husband is working late. But he's coming home to surprise her. Resulting in, him catching her in the act. The marriage ends in divorce. Depression is lurking.

Those are many scenarios that happen on a daily basis. We all get caught up in the heat of the moment. We get excited, afraid, we begin to act out rashly. Not thinking of the consequences for our actions. Satan uses everything he can, to derail us. To give us, a sense of hopelessness, anger, pride. The list goes on, and so do the moments.

In which, we can take command and not act out rashly. To rely on God, and not our own understanding. So next time, your in the heat of the moment. Think.

Pause, pray, and seek Him.

The Waiting Game And The Love, We Already Have

2010-02-12T08:50:00.001-08:00

All you need is love, right?

For those who will feel lonely,sad,depressed and many more emotions. Your time will come. Your time has come. Jimi Hendrix said it best " Bold as love" Love is bold.

Though I'm single and have been my whole life. I use to feel alone come February 14 but I started to realize all the love around me. The love from my friends, family, and most importantly, my Savior Jesus.

He died on the cross for me, for us, that's love, that's bold! Valentine's day is a celebration of two individuals who are committed to each other. Who are madly, truly, and deeply in love. That's definitely, something to celebrate.

But for those who are single, struggling to find that love. You have it, its been given to you, its free. I know how special a relationship can be with that girl or boy. But look beyond what you don't have. Look and cherish what you do have.

Our time will come. When we meet that special someone. But until then, be patience, be thankful. We have a lot of love around us. Its matter of sitting down and realizing it.

When your time comes and you meet that person. The wait will stop. But remember His love.

Until then, cherish His love and the waiting game.

The Struggle

2010-02-09T10:32:00.001-08:00

The struggle .....

What are you struggle with?

How long has the struggle been?

What changes must be made?

Whatever the struggle He is always there. No matter how bad you think it is. He still loves you. He's stretching his hand out. All you have to do, is extend yours.

Lord help me in my struggles. For I am weak and insufficient to help myself.

He knows .... He just wants to help

But will you let Him?

The struggle .....

Victims Of Go

2010-02-08T09:10:00.000-08:00

Go! A word that has taken on new meaning to me. In the last couple of days. The word Go has been floating around in my brain. What do I mean by Go. I mean going out of your comfort zone. Going out and helping someone in need (rich or poor). Going out of your way to sacrifice your time, money, your heart. Go can be described as going. Going to another part of the world, going to the feed the homeless.

Going so that God may be glorified through your going. But have you ever thought that we are victims of Go (going) people who have gone out of their way to love us. People who just walked a few steps to shake our hand.

Going is much more than just going thousands of miles away. The most difficult part of going, may be just taking a few steps.

I remmber, when I was 15. I had no self confidence in myself. I felt unloved, that no one cared about me. I was going through the motions. I was so confused about what, who I was.

Then my youth pastor took a few steps. She knew I was sitting over in the corner of the room all alone, depressed. She came by and said hi. I knew her name, but never had engaged in conversation with her. I knew her son was the same age as me. Then she asked me, how I was? That one question led to a many things. From being more involved in church, to realizing my potential. She poured into me, she showed me, what God was all about.

The underline point is ..... had she never had taken a few steps to say hi and ask how I was. Well, my story would be a lot different. She knew I was hurting, that I needed help, encouragement. We became good friends. In many ways, she got me back to church. She had a gift of getting many youth back to church. In such a pivotal point in my life. She went out.

You see we are all victims of go. Jesus took those faithful steps to the cross for us. To give us, a chance at life. On earth, we have people who go out of the their way for us. To insure, that we become of victims of go.

Inspiration Everywhere

2010-01-26T10:21:00.000-08:00

In need of some inspiration? Just look around you. Inspiration comes in some many forms. That its hard not to be inspired.

I like to be inspired, it propels me to be better. Over the past couple of months, inspiration has been all over the place. Starting with ......

The young man who has a family of 3 and picks up trash for a living.His family pushes him to be a better person. He's currently enrolling in school. His determination inspires me.

12 indivduals who left for South Africa. Allowing God to wreck their lives forever. One of the 12 stayed behind, another source of inspiration. His obedience inspires me.

The pastor of 15 years. Seeing him cry on stage, to becoming a better leader, father, and husband. His growth inspires me.

To my father, who tirelessly studies the word. His yearning to study inspires me.

The homeless man who is stuck on the streets, in the cold. Without food, water, or shelter. Regardless, he's able to produce a smile of hope. His smile inspires me.

I have so many more stories. Inspiration is everywhere. If you need a direction to start with, just look up.

Look around inspiration is lingering waiting to be seen.
Be inspired.

Help!

2010-01-20T04:50:00.000-08:00

I love to help people a lot. I go out of my way to help people. However, I do go out of way to avoid asking people for help. I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I put a barrier around myself. I begin to seclude myself, and think no one will help me. But I simply need to ask. This has been something that I have had a hard time with.

Especially, when I know I need help. Not to mention all the people who have said, that they are willing to help. It's just so difficult for me, to ask for help. The irony of the helper afraid to ask for help. So while I was thinking about how I can improve this. I started to sing the lyrics to Help! by the Beatles, most of us know the song. But the lyrics ring true to me and my situation and attitude towards the whole thing.

Help! by The Beatles

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

As I looked at the lyrics to this song. I realize I need to ask for help more. I have to go out of my way, to get help. I been humbled, by this is lesson that I'm learning. It will definitely be a process. But I'm willing to ask for help, no matter what my mind is telling me. Its imperative, that I get this down. In the future, this will come in handy. I know I will be asking for help for the rest of my life.

I better get use to it.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

Haiti And My Place In The World

2010-01-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

There I was sitting in my economics class learning about opportunity cost, comparative advantage, and all the fancy economic jargon you can think of, my mind was on the Haitians. The last thing Haiti needed was a earthquake, especially in their capital city Port - Au -Prince. As I started watching the coverage. All I could do is look on in sadness, the sheer chaos, the dead bodies.

I wanted to be there to shovel the rubble, to help the those who are seeking food. I much rather be in Haiti then in my economics class. But as soon as I thought that. I stopped myself, to recollect my thoughts.

For those who know me. I love helping people, especially those in dire need. I would love to help the people of Haiti. But its not my time, or place. What do I mean? Well, if it were up to me. I would be helping people all the time. But God has something else in mind. Currently, I'm in school and almost everyday. I think to myself, and ask, why am I in this class?!! I could be somewhere around the world help those in need. I would feel much more productive doing that.

But as I was humbled from my "I'm going to the change the world mentality" I'm finally beginning to see the reason for going to school. Education will allow me, to help the least of these even more. It will open doors, that I would have never thought of. The whole process of me, going to school is simply preparation. God in is all surpass wisdom, knows I'm not ready, equipped, for what he has for me.

Its a sobering reminder that God changes, not you or me. When I finish school I will mostly likely be in a different country helping the poor. I know the job will be difficult and at times I will want to quit. I will want to move back.

But as much as, I would love to go to Haiti and help. God is molding me, for another place in great need. When my number is called I will be ready, not completely, but much closer than right now.

My place in the world currently resides in the U.S.
Until further notice.

When Anticipation Becomes Reality

2010-01-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

A 25 year old, single male waits to embark on a new journey to South Africa

A bride walks slowly in tears. Waited 6 years to say I do.

A married couple waits for their newborn baby. The wait continues, until March.

A church of 1000 members waits for the arrival of a new building.

We are, or will have anticipation for something, or someone. But when it, becomes a reality. That's when the magic happens. Over the last year. I have been able to see people's anticipation become a reality. Whether their newlyweds, expecting parents, or a missionary. The wait is what develops the character. We are never, fully prepared for what we are anticipating. Patience and understanding, are essential ingredients to this whole process.

We have different anticipations. Anticipations can also be negative. But let's focus on the positive. Its been amazing to see the different reactions when, it all becomes reality. The tears, the smiles, and all the energy surrounding the whole situation. It truly has been fun to watch. Anticipation is a process, but its not always a long process. Matter of fact the switch to anticipation to reality can happen in a matter of hours, minutes, or seconds.

One thing that stood out to me. Is the different ways, each individual handled the whole process. They became more focused, a lot more secure with who they are. The process helped them mature, to understand what the reality may be like.

But when the anticipation became reality. All of them were very pleased. Once the reality starts, it does not end the journey of anticipation. Once anticipation becomes reality, we set our sights to something else.

We will always have anticipation among us.

I have anticipated many things. We wait for those milestone moments like marriage, sport events, seeing family, or traveling to a foreign country. Whatever it is, anticipation is a great teacher.

Anticipation effects everyone. What are you anticipating? When its becomes a reality, how will you respond?

Super Bowl Pick

2010-01-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

Here's how I see the NFL playoffs panning out.

NFC Round 1

Packers @ Cardinals- The Cards went to the super bowl last year and almost won. The Packers are a sleeper team that can make a lot of noise. I believe the Cards are starting to fall apart. The Packers are pretty balanced and Aaron Rodgers will play well against a banged up secondary. Packers win

Eagles @ Cowboys- The Boys are making some noise and there actually, backing it up with their play. The Eagles are still a very dangerous opponent. But the Cowboys are the most balanced team in the NFC. Home field will help the Boys a great deal. Cowboys win

AFC Round 1

Jets @ Bengals- The Bengals have home field and a solid QB in Carson Palmer. But I believe the Jets will pull the upset. The Jets D and running game is lethal. However, Mark Sanchez must play mistake free football. Gulp! I think he will do enough to get his first post season victory.

Ravens @ Patriots- Tom Brady and the Pats lost Welker. This loss will prove fatal, but not against the Ravens. The Ravens are just a middle in the road team. Nothing jumps out when think the Ravens. The Pats win in a close one.

NFC Round 2

Cowboys @ Vikings- The Vikings have been slumping the last couple of games. The Boys have been riding a wave of momentum. The Cowboys D will disrupts Brett Farve and Co. Cowboys ride their wave of momentum into the NFC Championship.

Packers @ Saints- The Saints will be rested and ready to go. The Packers will give the Saints a good fight. But Saints have to many options on the offensive side of the ball. The Packers will be overwhelmed. Saints win.

AFC Round 2

Patriots @ Chargers- The Pats have been the standard in the NFL for sometime. But now the Chargers seem to be on the rise, not just now, but in the future. I see a lot of the old Patriots in the Chargers. Brady and Co will be outplayed and outmatched. Wes Welker would have been very helpful against the Chargers. Chargers win.

Jets @ Colts- The Jets beat the Colts this season. But the Colts gave up in that game. The Colts will win in a landslide. Petyon Manning will dissect the D of the Jets.

NFC Championship

Cowboys @ Saints- This game will be a dogfight. The Boys will play good D against the Saints offense. But the Saints will still score. However, the Saints D will allow points too. This game will come down to who can score more. The Saints have more firepower and will win by a touchdown or less. Saints win.

AFC Championship

Chargers @ Colts- This game will also be a dogfight. But Peyton Manning has to do everything for the Colts to win. The Chargers have many players that they can rely on. The Chargers win because they are healthier, and have more talent on both sides of the ball.

Super Bowl

Chargers vs Saints- Brew Brees former team. The team let him go, so Phillip Rivers could be the starter. Brees will have a chip on his shoulder. The Saints offense will give the Chargers D a fit. But again, the Chargers play both sides of ball at a high level. the Saints D is very suspect. The Chargers win in a exciting shootout.

San Diego Chargers Super Bowl Champions!!!

Stephen A. Smith: On Gilbert Arenas

2010-01-04T10:16:00.000-08:00

Gilbert Arenas brings a gun to the Washington Wizards locker room. All the guy can say about the whole deal, is laugh. Well the NBA is not laughing, neither is law enforcement. But most importantly this does not help the perception of black athletes. Regardless, Arenas will lost a lot more than he realizes. Stephen A. Smith's take on the situation.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/Stephen-A-Smith-Arenas-analysis-010310

Investment: The Risks And Rewards

2009-12-31T13:16:00.000-08:00

I get a call at eight in the morning. I answer the unfamiliar number, as the sound of the voice echoes through my ears. I begin to roll my eyes out of the inconvenience that it will provide me. The voice sounds so desperate. The lady on the phone is asking a favor of me. I shake my head out of annoyance. Finally, the conservation ends.

I begin to make sense of things. What have I gotten myself into? Nothing extreme, I was just selfish. I didn't want to get out of bed. It finally dawned on me. What this opportunity could do, for someone in need.

A lot of times, we fear that someone who is in great need. Will call, ask for help, ask something of us, that will make us feel uncomfortable. Why are we so afraid? I will tell you why, investment. Every investment that we make has a risk or reward involved. I had a lady call me, to see if I could provide her and her family one way tickets to Brownsville.

Risk: I only met this family once. She asked that we go pick her up. I don't know their history, agenda. For all I know, they could rob me of my car. Or take advantage of someone helping them. I barley know this family.

Reward: I could use this to help a family in dire need. I could also use this to be a representative of Christ. Lastly, show the people that a complete stranger does care for them.

I elected to help the family. Everything went smoothly and I was able to help them. They were very thankful. The whole situation was a huge blessing for both parties. The whole thing really humbled me. The underline point is that sometimes we meet someone, people and we want to help. But only to a certain extent.

For example, going beyond just handing out some loose change from your window. To take the initiative to go beyond the window. What does that mean? That means putting yourself out there. Answering a call at two in the morning, going out on faith and lend money, time, or ears.

We at one time were in dire need and someone took a chance on us.

My New Years Resolution: Investing in those in need, but with an intention that surpasses all understanding. The source, just look above, you may be a victim of His investment, His love.

Happy New Years!!

Biases

2009-12-29T14:25:00.000-08:00

We all have biases, our biases always show up so me how. I'm a history major, all my professors have stressed the importance of being objective in our papers. But no matter how hard we try, our biases will be revealed. Is that true? Are our biases that evident, are they that easy to detect

We have the right to hold our biases. But for some reason, we are either every adamant about sharing them, or terrified to share them.

So what are your biases?

Left or Right?

Coke or Pepsi?

God or No God?

Poor or Rich?

Is it that easy to categorize our biases? Are biases that black and white? We all have biases, but the really question is do we truly believe in them?

My Christmas Of Giving

2009-12-25T17:34:00.000-08:00

The reason for the season is giving? Right? This Christmas has been special. I have been able to help out so many individuals. All I wanted for Christmas was to give. Sure it sounds, like I'm full of my self. But I truly, mean that.

I had the opportunity to help a family get back to Brownsville. Where they would have a home and food. I was also able to help, a man who is homeless find a job. I didn't find it for him. But I encouraged and prayed for him. Lastly, I was able to help an elderly, homeless woman over a large time span. Find a apartment that she can live in. Since staying there, her health has improved. She was in a wheelchair before, but now she is walking.

I'm thankful and blessed for those experiences. I get a lot at of it. The experiences truly have humbled me. I thank God, for the chance to help some awesome people.

I wanted to give and I got my wish.
I forgot to mention that I also received as well.

Don't Succeed, Just Try

2009-12-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

Many of us, come to a point in our lives. When we think, we have everything figured out. We lose sight of the fact, of how insufficient we really are.

We become so consumed in our pride, our selfishness. For the longest time, I told myself that, I was a failure. That I was not successful at anything, whatsoever. I wanted to be, so successful. I became so consumed, with what I wanted. I want to do it, all on my own. I failed terribly on many occasions. But I had forgotten that its not about succeeding, but trying.

God is the one that allows, us to succeed. But only when we humble ourselves, to his will in our lives. Allowing our faith to slip in, which goes with us being obedient. Ultimately, showing how much we love him and how much He loves us. When we kick ourselves, out of our lives. All God requires of us, is to try, he will do the rest.

But when we succeed, it was Him and not us. We simply tried. God did the rest.

Mother Teresa said it best: "God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try."

Break The Mold: Keep Your Word

2009-12-14T09:32:00.000-08:00

Oaths

³³"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' ³⁴But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; ³⁵or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. ³⁶And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. ³⁷Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Matthew 5:33-37

Why is it so hard to keep our word? Is it the commit issue? Is it, just lip service we give to people?

What is it?

From as far as I can go back in my life. My dad has always, pushed that I keep my word. That when I said yes, that I would follow through. Even when I have to say no, that I maintain what I said. Now that I have gotten older. I'm beginning to realize "keeping thy word" is hard for a lot of people. We say, we will, I'll be there, I will call you, Let's hang. But nothing happens. Why?

Death of many friendships is by not keeping your word. In an age, where its common to say "let's hang" but the expression is used in the heat of the moment. It sounds good at the time. Yet, after everything is done. We realize we didn't mean what we said. It's gotten to the point of it, being habitual to many. We obtain so many phone numbers, That we supposedly intended on calling. Yet, we allow the numbers to accumulate. That one person may have been waiting for a call. They may need help, a friend, shoulder to cry on. But it starts from the beginning, if you don't intend on hanging out. We are usually pretty good on making that happen.

We must change our mindset and be men/women of our words. A lot more would be accomplished. A lot of pain could be avoided.

We allow laziness to slip in. We become selfish, we don't see the point of keeping our word. For one moment, think about how you can improve this? We all love to give lip service, because its easy, it requires very little from us. We just simply move our mouths.

But putting our words in to actions. Requires that we sacrifice our time, our hearts, and ears. Keeping your word is an old custom, once held so high. Is now an after thought to many. So inconvenience yourself in a world where many have no concept of oaths, promises, or covenants.

Break the mold, keep your word!

Christmas Shoes

2009-12-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

The song Christmas Shoes is played every December. But the song is a great reminder of what Christmas is about. That Christmas goes beyond the presents, sipping egg nog, and the pine smell of Christmas trees.

Put yourself in this kid's position. How would you react? Treat Christmas has if, a love one is slipping away into eternal sleep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNsvE33pRSw

Holiday Identity Check

2009-12-02T11:02:00.000-08:00

Every holiday has an identity, which defines the holiday. The identity usually dictates how, we approach the holiday. Have you ever thought that, maybe we have gotten the identities of holidays messed up? That we have been swayed to think that Christmas is really about Santa Claus, swiping the credit card, and fulfilling our urge to consume. What about Thanksgiving? Is it all about the food and football?

As Christmas gets closer, the madness gets even more maddening. Have we forgotten what holidays are about? Do we think that the holidays would be unfulfilling, if we didn't perform the "tradition flow" of the holidays. Are we scared to shake things up? Is it selfishness? You can only answer that yourself.

The holiday challenge:

Is to look at our identity for the holidays. Does it, need some revamping. Do you need, to throw it out completely?

I have been on both sides of the fence. Less is more and more is less. Be real, be the identity of the holiday and you will see what its truly about.

Brokenness: Be The Clay

2009-11-25T09:03:00.000-08:00

I remember it, so vividly. The night that I broke down in tears. I finally had succumbed to the forces of brokenness. I was tired of living the lie. I was tired of pretending it was ok. With my bible study leader reaching out her hand. I snatched it.

I had avoided this for such a long time. I had played it off, as if it were nothing. That I could make it on my own. I knew the life I was living, was not pleasing to the Lord. I was a child of God, who had strayed away for far too long. I believed, I just didn't want to commit. That moment plays through my head on many occasions. But why? Why is it so, life changing?

A lot of us, relate tears, losing our composure, not sure what to do. We see it, as sign of weakness. The masses say, get up and suck it up. This is why being broken, being so genuinely and completely broken is a beautiful thing. When people realize that they are not enough. That they must change something in their lives.

Brokenness is a necessary thing. It helps us, realize how far we are from perfection. That perfection will never be attained. This is why the brokenness process is so effective. We must let ourselves be vulnerable, to leave our comfort at the door, allowing God to slip in and mold us.

That's what I did that night. I finally allowed God to mold me. God is still molding me and will continue to do so, until I leave this world. I will always remember that night, as the night that I said, change me Lord!

I've had my ups and downs. But the Lord has been faithful. It started with brokenness and in many ways, it may end that way too.

Be the clay.

Why I Blog

2009-11-23T10:36:00.001-08:00

Since I've started blogging. I have had several unique experiences to share in the blog sphere. Friday was one of those days. I was typing out a blog. Then.

A older woman from one my classes. Came to say hi and see how life was going? She saw what I was doing and asked, if she could read the blog. I said sure, gave her the link, she got right on in the computer lab. She began to navigate through all my entries. She came across one and started to cry.

She looked at me and asked " What if someone you love, asked why you love them?" I was little surprised by the question. Has I attempted to answer the question. She started to cry even more, I realized God was behind this situation. I barley knew her, but it didn't stop her from venting her frustrations, anger, and fear. She was juggling her job, being a mother, and feeling alone in this dark world.

Long story, short I got to pray with her and gave her encouragement. As I was trying to digest the whole deal. I realized, it was my words, that I typed that sparked the breakdown. That my blogging, indeed made a difference, it reminder her of the promises of God.

I don't need a comment to feel good about what I posted. That there may be several others who have read, that have been impacted. That Friday, I finally realize why I blog.

Words are powerful, especially if they are for someone else.
Blogging for HIS glory!

Victims Of

2009-11-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

We are, or at least think we are, victims of something. We all have been or felt abused, taken for granted, or felt unimportant. We all believe that we are victims of something. We victimize ourselves, to believe we are victims. We want people to throw a pity party for us. We want the attention of a person, who will vent with us.

I'm not saying, that being a victim is bad. There are plenty of legitimate victims such as, rape victims, victims of war, poverty. On the flip side people begin to take advantage of being victim. They find a way to distort anything, so others will feel ill of their demise.

What is bothering, is that for most people. We allow ourselves to victimize ourselves. We take time to find the bad. So that we can feel bad about ourselves. I have seen plenty of the people be victims of horrendous things.They could have chosen to let those actions defeat them. But they rose to the occasion and conquered it.

We go, as far as we allow ourselves. Most of us, have support from all sorts of venues. But ultimately, we must take the initiative to rise. We can't do it alone. But we must not be lazy about it.

Victims we are, but isn't being a victim a choice?

We choose to have that label. Again, nothing is wrong with that word. But it does, become a detriment when we allow it to dictate our lives. Being a victim is not a permanent state. If anything, we can learn to overcome the difficulties, of what we call life.

So are you a victim of something?

If so, what are you going to do about it?

My Life

2009-11-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

My life... what will it amount too?

My life.... what I am doing here?

My life.... am I making a difference?

Your life ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsDyAgKWA34

Behold! The Power Of Coffee

2009-11-04T12:55:00.000-08:00

The cool looking future, the music echoing in the background. The distinct good smelling aroma in your face. People engaging in conversation, that vary from catching up, to politics, to sports. Let's not forget the lone individuals who are enjoying a good book, cramming for a midterm, or simply reading the New York Times.

Coffee shops have a very unique mystique to them. You can spend hours on in, without even noticing it. It seems there is no time in a coffee shop. People use them as a rendezvous. But the shops are great, with all the CD's, newspapers, and advertisement for helping poor African kids.

But that's not what brings people in. I think its, the coffee. Not because its amazing, but because, of what spawns from it. Conversations. It's funny you need to talk, you go to a coffee shop and enjoy a cup of coffee. It seems like some kind of therapy center. A place to vent and cry your eyes out. A place where you can smile and have a good time.

Even better if, you don't like coffee you can order a variety of things. That I'm sure one will agree with your taste buds. Better yet, you feel adventurous and try something new.

Regardless, coffee shops are a great place to converse. Everyone knows that. I've have had some of the best conversations in a coffee shop. Why? I don't know, but coffee has the ability to bring people together. Whether family, friends, or someone of interest. It's the coffee.

The coffee is good

The conversation is better.

NBA Western Conference Preview

2009-10-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

NBA season start tonight. Here's my take on the West.

1. Los Angeles Lakers (NBA Champions 2008-2009)- The Lakers are still the team to beat. Kobe has plenty of weapons around him. This summer LA added Ron Artest better known as a ticking time bomb. Ron Ron brings a lot to the team. But Ron is still a very high risk. Kobe should keep him focused. If Andrew Bynum stays healthy, he should have a solid season. What makes LA dangerous is, the fact that Kobe is getting older. He knows his time of greatness is coming to an end. Which for now makes Kobe very deadly.

2. San Antonio Spurs- The Spurs reloaded and are rejuvenated. With all the new faces they got over the summer. Richard Jefferson is a huge addition, insurance if Ginobili goes down. One thing I worry about is, Jefferson going to bring it, on the defensive side of the ball. The Spurs also signed veterans Antonio McDyess, Theo Ratliff and Keith Bogans. All three should bring depth to the frontcourt. The Spurs also got damaged goods in rookie DeJuan Blair (Pittsburgh). Tony Parker should have a good season. Duncan looks ready to go and Ginobili looks healthy. The Spurs are loaded, health is their only concern.

3. Portland Trailblazers- I'm not convinced that Portland can compete for a championship. Not yet. Brandon Roy needs consistent help from LaMarcus Aldridge and Greg Oden. Portland signed Andre Miller. Miller will help start up the offense, which will allow Roy to focus on scoring. Miller will help this team a lot. The bench is solid and very deep. Nicolas Batum will be even better, he's got a lot of upside. If Roy gets help on the scoring end. No one will want to see Portland in the playoffs.

4. Denver Nuggets- Can Denver repeat last years success. I don't think they can, but this team is still very good. Chauncey Billups second year at the helm should help even more. If Carmelo Anthony wants to elevate his game to another level. He must take more of a leadership role on the team. The Nuggets also traded up, in the draft for rookie Ty Lawson (North Carolina). Great pickup. Dahntay Jones will be missed, but Aaron Afflalo is better. If Nene and Kenyon Martin can stay healthy the Nuggets have a shot at that success.

5. Dallas Mavericks- Good enough, to be a middle of the pack team. Nothing has changed since last season. Sure the Mavs have some new faces. They traded for Shawn Marion and signed Drew Gooden. But the Mavs need everything to go their way, for things to happen. Jason Kidd is really old, how long can he last? Dirk Nowitzki will put up numbers. This team is good enough to tease everyone of how good they are. I'm not fooled.

6. Utah Jazz- Deron Williams is a stud, the most complete point in the game. Glad to see Paul Millsap got paid. Great player. If Carlos Boozer can bring his A game. A lot of teams will be calling to trade for him. C.J. Miles is a good player. Can the Jazz win on the road? The Jazz are deep and still have the ability to make noise. But Jazz management must settle this Boozer mess.

7. New Orleans Hornets- Chris Paul is the best point in the game. But he doesn't have a lot, of help beyond power forward David West. The trade for Emeka Okafor is a trade that doesn't hurt or help the team. Okafor will be under pressure to perform at a high level and help out Paul. Can rookie Darren Collison (UCLA) be a steady backup for Paul? Can the bench contribute every night? A lot of questions to be answered. Stay tuned.

8. Phoenix Suns- The Run and Gun Suns are back! Amare Stoudemire will be wearing googles now. Grant Hill will remain consistently reliable. The bench is average. The Suns run and gun should help them against inferior opponents. Is this Stoudemire's last season in the desert? Suns should be fun to watch. But the Suns are a early round exit.

9 Los Angeles Clippers- The other LA team. The Clips got #1 pick Blake Griffin (Oklahoma) the guy can play. The Clips also have some talent to build around Griffin with Eric Gordon and Al Thornton. Chris Kaman and Marcus Camby provide depth at center. Oh yeah, the Clips have Baron Davis. If everyone stays healthy and focused the Clips might make the playoffs. But I'm not holding my breath.

10. Houston Rockets- The toughest team in the league. The Rockets are a scrappy bunch. But Yao Ming is out for the year. Tracy McGrady is out for half, the Rockets have no firepower. But why at 10? The Rockets will find a way to score. Point guard Aaron Brooks can score, power forward Luis Scola can as well. The Rockets signed Trevor Ariza he will help defensively. Not to mention 2 round draftee Chase Bundinger (Arizona) can fill it up. They have 1 player taller than 6'9 but this team will not make it easy to win. That's all you can ask for. I'm predicting a big summer for the Rockets. They will sign someone big.

11. Golden State Warriors- Better known as the circus. Stephen Jackson wants out. Monta Ellis says "he can't play with rookie Stephen Curry (Davidson)" what a mess. You also got Don Nelson he 's a circus by himself. With all that said, the Warriors have to much talent, to sink to the bottom. They won't make the playoffs, but they won't have the worst record in the league. But then again, that's not saying much.

12. Oklahoma City Thunder- Kevin Durant is a star in the making. The guy can play, but must improve his defense. Russell Westbrook is a lot better at point than I thought. Jeff Green is the man who does all the dirty work. Nenad Kristic is a good center. Rookie James Harden (Arizona State) will make an impact. The Thunder are young and have a promising future. But it will take time, before you can talk playoffs in Oklahoma.

13. Memphis Grizzlies- The FedEx Forum will be a little bit fuller. Thanks, to Allen Iverson. Hopefully, Iverson can be a good influence, if not, watch out! Memphis does have talent with Rudy gay, O.J. Mayo, and Marc Gasol. This team could be a lot better but AI and Zach Randolph will prove to be bad for the young Griz. Rookie Hasheem Thabeet (UCONN) looks lost out on the floor. The Grizzlies will be bad but entertaining to keep up with.

14. Minnesota Timberwolves- Al Jefferson lost weight and looks ready for the season. Rookie Jonny Flynn (Syracuse) will do so much more, than what Ricky Rubio could have done. Kevin Love, is good but should come off the bench, for depth reasons. Ryan Hollins, great pickup, should start at center, so Jefferson can abuse the opposing power forward. Ramon Session was also a good pickup. The T- Wolves will be bad. But I like the pieces they have for the future. Beware, If I were the GM I would move Rubio elsewhere. It good happen.

15. Sacramento Kings- Kevin Martin is healthy and ready to go. Rookie Tyreke Evans (Memphis) has a lot of potential. Jason Thompson and Spencer Hawes are pretty solid. The Kings have talent, but its still very iffy. The Kings are bad because the bench sucks. Expect trades throughout the season. Regardless, it should be a long year in the capital of California.

NBA Eastern Conference Preview

2009-10-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

The NBA season starts tomorrow! Very excited! Well here's my take of the upcoming season. The position I place teams is, where I believe they will finish at the end of the season. Western preview coming soon.

1. Boston Celtics- The Celtics signed Rasheed Wallace and Marquis Daniels. Those signings will help tremendously. But I think Daniels will have more of an effect then Sheed. But either way, Boston is stacked. Rondo is a stud, but an arrogant one. Rondo must mature. Lastly, the Celtics will go, as far as KG's knees take them. KG will be ready.

2. Orlando Magic- I like this team come playoff time. The Magic present some many mismatches, start with Dwight Howard, next Rashard Lewis, and at times Vince Carter. They have one of the deepest benches in the league. Howard must improve his offense and his free throws. Nelson will be ready to repeat his All- Star season. The Magic will be magically in the playoffs.

3. Cleveland Cavaliers- The Big Witness Protection (Shaq) is in town. His goal " win a ring for the king" , easier said then done. Shaq, gives the Cavs a post presence. But will that clog up the lane for King James? LeBron will have a MVP season. Mo Williams will move to third fiddle, which suits him well. The Cavs also picked up Anthony Parker, Jamario Moon, and Leon Lowe. The Cavs must be success to convince James to stay. Success to James is getting a ring, its going to be hard.

4. Atlanta Hawks- The Hawks traded for Jamal Crawford and signed Joe Smith. The Hawks have a lot of talent. This group has been playing with each other for awhile. There needs to be signs of improvement. Joe Johnson is quietly lethal. Josh Smith, when his head is on, is very productive. Al Horford, great young player. Its time to step up and play at a high level.

5. Washington Wizards- Gilbert Arenas is back, but is he ready for the 82 game grind? Caron Bulter will be the stable force. Antawn Jamison will put up numbers. New acquisitions Randy Foye and Mike Miller give the Wiz good quality depth. Also the Wiz have a nice project in center Javale McGee. With all that said, the Wiz at best are a second round team.

6.Chicago Bulls- Ben Gordon will be missed. Is Loul Deng really healthy? Derrick Rose will be asked to score more. The Bulls have some nice rookies in Taj Gibson (USC) and James Jones (Wake Forest). The Bulls have depth and will benefit from the thrilling series against the Celtics. The Bulls have the ability to make a lot of noise.

7. Toronto Raptors- The signing of Hedo Turkoglu helps the Raps offense, but does nothing for their defense. Chris Bosh will be is regular double double. Rookie DeMar DeRozan (USC) should make an impact. Andrea Bargnani should have a big season. Bottom line Raps have a lot of offense, but no D. The Raps will make the playoffs. But is that enough for Bosh to stay?

8. Miami Heat- Dwyane Wade is a stud on many levels. The Heat are going to need him to play crazy good every night. Wade will undoubtedly, need help. But who? Jermaine O'neal is old and done, and might have some decent games. Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers need to step up. Wade will be great. But who else. I'm guessing some will smell the coffee and respond. I just don't know who.

9. Philadelphia 76ers- The Sixers were foolish in letting Andre Miller go. The Sixers have no pass first point guards. Lou Williams will be running the offense, along with rookie Jrue Holiday (UCLA) a very scary thought. Regardless, the Sixers have talent with Elton Brand, Andre Iguodala, and Thaddeus Young. But this team is only good enough to be a bubble team.

10. Detroit Pistons- Detroit gains offense with Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva, but they not defense. Point guard Rodney Stuckey needs to learn to pass. Ben Wallace is back in Motown, but no one cares. Detroit is in the process of rebuilding it will take time. Rookies Austin Daye (Gonzaga) and DaJuan Summers (Pittsburgh) look promising. But like the Philly, Detroit is a bubble team at best.

11. Indiana Pacers- Outside of basketball junkies no one knows who Danny Granger is. Expect that to change this season. Roy Hibbert has shown great improvement. Brandon Rush has and will improve. Can Troy Murphy still maintain is hot shooting from the 3? Can rookie Tyler Hansbrough (North Carolina) make an impact? Will Mike Dunleavy ever get healthy? A lot of questions. This team is one impact player away from being a lower seed playoff team.

12. Charlotte Bobcats- Larry Brown has done wonders, with the Bobcats. Expect him to do, more wonders, with less talent. Tyson Chandler will swat shots left and right. Gerald Wallace is a talented player on a bad team. Rookie Gerald Henderson (Duke) will not be see a lot of game time. Larry Brown will push more trades and push his team to do things its, not capable of.

13. New York Knicks- The Knicks should be fun to watch. Wilson Chandler has been a bright spot in the lights of Madison Square Garden. Rookie Jordan Hill (Arizona) will be bullied in the paint. Chris Duhon is a back up point and not a starter. GM Donnie Walsh will try to dump salaries. This season is, in many ways a long training camp, until the summer of LeBron.

14. New Jersey Nets- With Vince Carter gone, Devin Harris and Brook Lopez will be asked to score every night. Both are very talented players. In the Carter trade, the Nets got Courtney Lee who will help on the defensive side. In the draft the Nets got Terrence Williams (Louisville). Williams is very versatile and should help with scoring. The Nets also got a new owner. With the summer 2010 coming, if the Nets sign a big time free agent. This team with all the young talent will have a lot of upside.

15. Milwaukee Bucks- Not much to celebrate in Milwaukee. The Bucks let Ramon Sessions and Charlie Villanueva go. They also traded Richard Jefferson to the Spurs. Micheal Redd is coming back from injury. Rookie Brandon Jennings (Oak Hill Academy played in Europe for a year) is still unproven. Andrew Bogut is average at best. The Bucks have talent, but everything must go right. Unfortunately, that won't happen.

Good Enough Or Wanting It

2009-10-23T09:37:00.001-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks. I have found myself, just doing enough. In other words, not going the extra mile. Not taking pride in what I'm doing. Not with everything, but the one constant thing, I always seem to half ass .... school.

I allow it, to become a drag for me. I sleep in class, or don't even show up. I do enough to get by. Some days I just want to drop out and move to a foreign country. But for everything that is hard there's a reason behind it.

I've been content with just being average. Fulfilling what is required, and just do good enough to be accepted as ok. I have not been motivated to go beyond my own expectations that I have for my academic career. Stagnant is the word that comes to mind. Now to use a sports metaphor. A bad student of the game. I either don't show up, or rarely compete in practice. I use every excuse to tell myself that I need a day off. Do not stay after practice and work on my game. Worst of all, my laziness has become an habitual action. Some athletes have the talent, but never work on being a better player. They are content with just being good enough.

The Michael Jordan's, Muhammad Ali's of the world never settled for good enough. They strive for greatness in the realm of sports, they achieved it. To use a another metaphor again. Those individuals who work hard, are willing to sacrifice to get better, and put in the time when its not needed. Those individuals go beyond being good enough. They wanted it, they knew it be hard. But they knew what they wanted and went after it. Sure failure will find a place in this journey. But that should not be the reason to stop.

So as, I reflect on my good enough attitude, mentality towards school. I know I must change that outlook. Work harder than before, put in the time. Show my coaches I care. That I want to be better. That I'm not afraid to fail. That I welcome the challenge ahead.

If I do all that.
I like my chances.

Stuck

2009-10-21T10:50:00.001-07:00

Every Monday night is truly unique and humbling. For two plus years, every Monday I've gone to feed the homeless. I have learned much from this whole experience. In several different capacities I've grown to being a better person and Christ follower. But one reoccurring theme that presents its self every Monday, is why they are down there.

You really can't pinpoint a specific reason for all. Sure some abuse some kind of substance, or from a country south of the border. But what I've come to find out, is that there stuck. Several elements drag, force, and allow them to be down there.

But I'm beginning to see it, in a different light. Before I did this, I felt sorry for them. But I wanted nothing to with them. It was like a zoo for me, every time I went under the bridge. It was like a tour, " on your left is the crack whore, to your right is a drunk man, that smells like feces, and right in front of us, is a Mexican gang banger, hitting a joint, with an array of tattoos.

I pitied them, in a bad way. It was there fault they were down there. Why should I help someone, who doesn't want to be helped? Well God worked on my hear to say the least. Time went on ......

As I got to know the people under the bridge. I realized a lot wanted out, a lot were desperate to change, they wanted to change. They were, just stuck in a hard situation. That the reasons for them being down there, are more complex then we realize. A lot of factors come into play.

Sure they have made mistakes that have brought them down there. But we all make mistakes. Just because, most of us, live comfortably and have the essentials. Does not make us, better then people who have nothing.

During my time down there I've heard many stories. I've come to love these people for who they are. To care about what's going on in their lives. To take a genuine, real approach to helping them.

The underline point being, we get stuck sometimes. It may not lead us, to the streets. But we get stuck and we want to get unstuck. But we need help. This is my challenge to find the stuck and help in the process of "unstucking".

Like everything else, it is a process.

But a process that we are called to do.

A process that I have benefited from and more many.

Listening Trumps Talking

2009-10-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

We all listen and talk. But which one are we better at?

Sometimes we don't realize how much we talk. Talking is a means of communicating a variety of things. But listening, requires more work, it seems effortless at times. But when you practice listening it really goes a long way.

We all love to vent, or talk about our current situation in life. We love to talk. Sure it can be casual and the talking among the talkers can be balanced. I'm not saying talking is bad. But only when you allow it, to monopolize everybody's chance to contribute. Which means your not listening.

Listen is harder to perform. You listen to someone intently and sometimes they notice when you doze off. It's like in school. You listen to the teacher and its hard to listen sometimes. It may be there voice, you can't understand them, or you have no interest in the material. Regardless, listening to them is hard, especially for a long period of time.

Some people excel at listening. But why is it, so hard to listen? Perhaps, talking is more of a selfish act, its more about us, when we are talking and not listening. So its easier to talk?

Listening requires earnest attention to who your are hearing out. I feed the homeless every Monday and I've come to learn that they all have stories. They salivate at the chance to tell them. I may hardly say a word during the whole conversation. But me listening to their story is what spoke volumes to them. It shows I care, that I have interest so much so, I sat down and listened.

Listening is a tool we can all use to show we care. Without even saying we care. Listening is the action we can perform to show our love, concern, or understanding of the talker.

So next time a friend comes to vent. Listen. Or when you are catching up with a friend. Listen. Better yet, your at school or at work. Listen

Trust me you're get your time to talk.

He Gave Me

2009-10-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

He gave me grace
To finish the race

He gave me power
In my darkest hour

He gave me a friend
When I thought it was the end

He gave me love
Even though I wasn't looking above

He gave me
He gave me ........

And has set me free

Status Quo

2009-09-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

We all want more. We are never content with what we have. We allow ourselves to covet after things we don't have. How can the status quo, not be so hindering to us?

Well, there's several answers to that questions. I believe most know what they must do. To stop the selfishness and jealously. It may not be, easy to do, but the concept isn't hard to comprehend.

In high school I was saving up for a car. That's what my focus was on. I made a deal with my dad. That when and if I got $2,000. My dad would get me a car and pay the rest. So I set off, on my mission to be cruising, by my junior year in high school.

In this season of my life. I wasn't very close to God at all. He had no real importance in my life. I knew that he should. But I ignored that idea all together. Nevertheless, I knew what was up. My dad knowing that I was struggling with my walk. Invited me, to promise keepers. He bugged me so much about it. I had no choice but go, just to shut the man up!

So I went with a bitter heart, and wounded soul. I began to listen to this man preaching about being a Christian. Everything he was saying, I was not. He started talking about how me entrap ourselves, of the ways of this world. He said a couple of scriptures.

But he got me thinking. I began to realize my pursuit of getting a set of wheels was out of selfish ambition. I want a car because everyone else had one. Not to mention I went to a pretty wealth school. So if I didn''t have wheels, I felt I would fall under the poor Hispanic category. I thought a car would give me popularity, girls, and friends. The status quo.

God jacked me up that day. I will never forget how His love was shown. I got the $2,000, but at promise keepers. I made a promise. My dad was going to Brazil and he really wanted me to go. I knew God wanted me to go. But I wanted a car more. But instead I used the $2,000 to go to Brazil. Which meant, no car, no superficial friends or indulging myself in selfish ambition.

Man! God you are so good. The trip to Brazil was the tipping point for me. The trip not only peaked my interest in missions, but my interest in God. The trip jacked me up.

So how many of you are concerned with status quo? I was, and times still am. But I now know. There is so much more to put your mind and efforts towards. I guarantee it, had I not gone to Brazil and got a car instead. I would been emptier with all that I thought I wanted.

Jesus is my status quo now. The only word I can think of to describe it, is ......

Fulfillment

Scattered Thoughts

2009-09-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

Scattered thoughts ........

How many of us, find ourselves asking what if? Or play out a day dream in our head. That we wish would come true. Or we can't go to sleep, because of all the thinking we are doing.

Thinking is a beautiful thing. But at times it can be a drag for your morale. When we start over thinking, doubting ourselves. That's when thinking to hard and long is bad. No to mention when your are thinking. It's usually more than one thing.

I like to call this scattered thoughts. Jumping from one thought to next one, worrying, over analyzing, or be angry over the outcome. We all think about something or someone. Thinking is human nature. Thinking is what allows us, to push ourselves to be better.

Thinking opens the door to new ideas. It allows us, to do a lot things. But there is always a limit. There are some things, we can't comprehend. We can't undo the past. But only learn from it. Thinking in moderation.

This quote sums it up.

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. - Carlos Castaneda (in reference to thinking)