Roots: I'm a Panamexrican

Hello, my fellow bloggers.

It has been quite some time.

When I was little I was embarrassed of my background. Background meaning, ethnicity.
My dad is from Mexico, my mom is from Panama. I grew up with Spanish being my first language. However, overtime my kindergarten teacher realized how poor my English was, so she suggested I get tested.

After several test, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. It was recommended to my parents, that they speak English to me. Once this happen, my connection to my roots, my culture, slowly, faded away. Language is the key to understanding your culture.

I understood Spanish, but I dare not speak it. Even with my family from Mexico or Panama I refused to speak it. I grew embarrassed of where I came from, where my parents were from.

They pronounced words differently in English. My dad would kiss my forehead in public before he dropped me off for school. I hated that. Kids would laugh.

I felt very alone, going to a predominantly, white school I had no one to relate to. Over time, I grew accustomed to my environment. I grew further away, from my culture, my family in Mexico and Panama. To be frank, I did not have the slightest interest in getting to know them. I hated traveling down to either country.

But once I hit the latter part of middle school. My interest sparked. I decided to take Spanish classes in high school. Perhaps, it was only a matter of time. That my interest in my culture, my family history would matter to me.

After years, of catching up on my Spanish. College came around and I took advance classes. I decided to minor in Spanish. Turned out to be one of the best decisions I made.

The underline point: I struggled with my identity. I had an identity crisis. In high school, I was surrounded by people who looked like me, talked like me, had parents from other countries. It was comforting.

Now I can say I am proud of who I am. Where my parents come from, that they both speak Spanish. That my cousins and grand parents live thousand of miles away. That is my reality. And in time I embraced it.

I finally, took pride in my culture, my family, and all the other elements surrounding it.

Which begs the question. Are you proud of your culture, family background? I know a lot of people who struggle with this. We come from the same piece of land we call earth, though we may not look alike. We do share a commonality. We all have a story of family, culture, language, and experiences etc.

Remember that! This world is a diverse world. It took me a long time to see that. But when I realized it, my eyes opened up to a whole new world.

I'm proud to say I'm a Panamexrican!