Entitlement vs. Privilege: The On Going Struggle

San Antonio, Texas the place I call home, became a living nightmare for me. As I prepared to leave San Antonio, for the first time. I couldn't help, but count the days. I was so ready to leave. I felt trapped, unproductive, and entitled the latter being the reason for leaving so bitter. I left San Antonio, so angry, at so many people.

I felt that, I had been used and abused at the same time. That I had been left on the street, after being mugged. No one coming to my care, or asking if I needed help. I felt alone. I allowed this entitlement to drive my thought process and how I reacted to my bitterness.

As I left, I thought I was the better person. That I had it all figured out. Entitlement is a slippery slope to nowhere, it gives satan the angle he needs to create havoc in your life.

Peter disowned Jesus THREE times, however, Jesus respond out of love. Jesus, could of easily said " You fool, have you not seen what I have done?" Jesus had that chance to feel entitled. Because of how Jesus responded, Peter saw how privledged he was.... to be in His presence.


Now after time, to reflect.... I see how pompous I was.... I felt very entitled. I realized, when I return home I need to mend some broken friendships. That there is a constant battle going on between grace and pride.

Knowing that you come from a privileged setting, it humbles the person overall. Humility claims that we have no idea what we are doing. Entitlement claims we know and to move out of our way!


I have no idea what I'm doing, but I willing to learn. I know how blessed I am. I know, I'm in a position to serve God in Japan.

I'm truly humbled by that .....

Under construction, a work in progress aren't we all? How do you approach your everyday life?

Do you feel privileged or entitled?

Pray Persistently

When anticipation becomes reality, we are never ready for the subtle truths that come our way.

For the past couple of days, I have struggled to understand what it means to be a prayer warrior. Prayer is something, that most people know how to start. But why is praying, so hard for us to do? It appears prayer becomes a convenient practice, when we are struggling. Yet, when all is well..... prayer seems like a distance memory.

Thus far, this has been my mindset. Prayer is important, vital to survive this battle we are fighting. As I inch, closer to the mission field. I'm beginning to realize, prayer MUST become a persistent and daily practice. I have been convicted of my lack of prayer.

Often times, its a "churchy term" we throw around. "I will pray for you brother/sister." But do we really mean it? Or is something we say in the "heat of the moment" that sounds right and originally "churchy"?

Those are the questions I ponder. I've been told by many people, that they will be praying for me. But do they mean it? But how can we make prayer more than, just a meal time ritual?

When I leave for Japan. Prayer will be key to my spiritual survival. Satan knows what I am doing and he does not like it. Prayer is important, it requires us to fight our spiritual battles on our knees, rather than on your own.

What does your prayer life look like?

More to come from my thoughts, while at training. New blog in the works, will be launched in 2012.