I have expressed this many times in my blog, that I really suck at math. That might be an understatement to my suckness in math. Math has been a demon in my life. Sure, math sounds so harmless to most. But it really has been my demon, but as I got older. I have allowed it to become a stronghold of negativity in my life.
When math is involved all my insecurities come out, my fear of failure and that I will not amount to anything. I have had this mathematical equation in my life for far too long. I've allowed it to feed off my failures, laziness, and lack of focus.
I have a learning disability in math. I learn differently than others. I don't grasp the information as fast. But I've allowed my learning disability become an excuse to not put my full effort forward. All these years, I have approach math with a horrible attitude. I may not like math, but I got to pass to move on.
Move on with my academic career, spiritual journey, and just life in general. I've allowed my fear of math to hit critical mass. I now must do something about it. There is no tomorrow, there is no next time. I need to figure out this mathematical equation, over the last few months I finally let God take over. God is the king of math, he knows any equation life throws at us, no matter how complex, or daunting.
My problem with math lies not in my learning disability, but my unwillingness to take the necessary steps to pass math. I've always tried to find the easy way out. But thanks to, friends who won't let fail and God who loves me regardless. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if I don't succeed in math this semester. I now know what is required to pass. This life long battle of math, is slowly, but surely coming to an end.
It took me 22 years to realize all this.
I'm a slow learner.
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