It appears that its only habitual to be scared and excited at the same. When we are confronted with something completely new. The only analogy I can come up with is a new boyfriend or girlfriend. You excited about the potential and what it brings like love, companionship, and a friend. However, there's the scared part... that it might blow up in your face. The unexpected elements that it brings like heartbreak, opening yourself up to a stranger, and the conflict that it produces.
In short, I am eluding to the mission field as a mate. You pour your tears, effort and time into a particular people group, country and try to assess the needs. Each situation provides different obstacles and challenges. In many ways, our time and experience is determined on how we respond. Adversity and conflict is inevitable no matter what we do.
My underline point is that we want something so bad it becomes reality. We can't help but have a whole host of emotions like being scared and excited at the same time.
As I received my letter which holds the country in which I have been picked for. Those emotions came into place. I smiled and opened it and was not surprised by the choice.
A simple stroke of the pen will commit me, to this country. I'm afraid, I have doubts... However, I have excitement of the potential and challenge it presents. This place is not my first choice, but God is pulling in a direction I never saw coming.
My mind has been spinning since. A decision must be made.
By faith....
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