Thursday, May 1, 2008

A Wooden Response

I woke up, with a thousand things in my head. I felt really our of it, a little hopeless, and really frustrated at God. I walked down stairs heard the radio on in the kitchen. It was Aaron Shust's song Give me words to speak. The first couple of lines to the song explained how I felt this morning.

Calloused and bruised/ dazed and confused My Spirit is left wanting something more Than my selfish hopes/ and my selfish dreams I’m lying with my face down on the floor Cryin out for more Cryin out for more

Has I absorbed the lyrics of the song, I went in to a "basketball stance". Bent down with my hands on my knees, and with my face facing the floor. It was like I was watching the opposing team sink in the winning free throws to the game. From half court I was slouch down accepting the inevitable defeat. Tears slowly, but surely came out of my hurting eyes. I zoned out for a second, I started to pray.

Lord, why am I so selfish?
I pray I can put my pride aside.
So I can fully serve and rely on you.
May I push all the non sense away.
To learn and grow in you.

As I came out of the pray with watery eyes. The song was still playing. I knew God was orchestrating this song for a reason, especially the lyrics.

Give me words to speak Don’t let my Spirit sleep Cause I can’t think of anything worth saying But I know that I owe You my life So give me Words to speak Don’t let my Spirit sleep I know I know I owe you my life ohh my life, ohh my life I know that I owe you my life ohh my life, My L I I I F E

The line that says I know I owe you my life. That line humbled my spirit, I got out of my "basketball stance". Stood up wiped my tears away. Walked to my door to go to school. In my house we have a sign on our door on the inside portion of the door. Which reads JESUS NEVER FAILS! I smiled and, realized for the moment I have words to speak.

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