A.I.M

Yesterday I had my first "visit" what I mean by "visit" is giving a family my condolences for their loss. So when I entered the funeral home (I think I'm new to this stuff). Well I walked in really curious as to what was going to happen. The family that had the suffered the lost I hadn't seen in years, a decade ,maybe. As we waited in line to give our thoughts, prayers, and tears. I came upon the mother who lost her son in the wreck. Losing a son who was trying to get his life back together. Losing a son who she deeply loved regardless of his faults.

This mother had been and still is a inspiration for me. In middle school I was diagnosed with a learning disability. Not really coming to grips that I couldn't retain the material as fast as everyone. So my parents payed for me to go to a program called A.I.M. Which stood for Achievement Innovation Motivation all three I was sorely lacking. This program was setup to help kids with learning disabilities. So every time we took a test or anything close to that matter I would walk down two flight of stairs and take it in A.I.M. Every time I left the classroom I was so embarrassed that I had to leave. That I couldn't take the test like a "regular person" alienating myself for my lack of.....

But every time I walked my down to A.I.M she would welcome me with open arms. Always putting a smile on her face, always motivating and teaching us. She would put up with all the bullsh*t that I would give her. All times I would try to cheat on my test, or skip class she still loved me. I was fully aware of what I was doing. She knew I knew and she still loved on me like her own child. If I had to pick 5 people who have influenced me over my 21 years she would be in there without question. So as I waited in line to give her my condolences. I was like a little kid shaking I was nervous. My mom embraced her, then she saw me and busted in to tears.

I wanted to cry, but I was so overwhelmed. She grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug I have ever received. Word had gotten out about me being active in the ministry and going on mission trips. She said I hear your working for the Lord. I smiled and said you been doing it for years. Through this tragedy she seemed at peace, at ease if you will. Their was a glow about her. I thanked her for putting up with me. She said you never were a pain. I shook my head on the verge of tears. Humbled by her never ending example of giving and encouraging. My regret is I never thank her enough for what she has done for me. She stood in the gaps for me in one of my darkest times. She smiled when I thought I had no reason to smile. She gave me hug when I was down. She always reminded me I was a child of God no matter my grades. Or how bad I was in a particular subject (math).

So as I kissed her on her forehead having her tears come down my shirt. Hugging her with all my might. I said thank you, and thank you will never be enough. I smiled and walked off. I used to be embarrassed with my learning disability till this day I still have it. Math is my Achilles heel, I have been told I suck at reading, writing, I put to many commas they say. That I am not capable of getting a degree. That I'm pretty much hopless. So I'm fighting a lot of odds, not to mention doubts. Next semester I will be repeating the same math class for the fourth time. I was told by my history teacher I would be lucky to pass the class this semester. I'm hours behind the hours that I'm suppose to have.

But one thing I learned in A.I.M was to aim high.
To aim for the impossible.

To aim to please and glorify God

Sure I may suck at school, but I'm loved by a father who knows me inside and out
and I aim everyday to follow him and show the world to aim for him

Thank you Jan may God Bless you, in a unique and mighty way for years to come!

Love your student always
Jose